I want to write it down. All of it. I find, more often than not, that a healing (and very often a revelation) occurs after each entry into my journal or each telling of some small part of my story. Is my life so spectacular that I think everyone will be clamoring to read about it? A resounding no. Is my life so important? I know I have value but what have I done to change the world? Probably not much. Is my life full of adventure and daring? I wish it was. No…I am more of an ‘every woman’. My life could be described as….Valuable but not noticeable. Important but not legendary. Known but not famous. Loved but not publicly adored. Fun but not always. Rich but not monetarily. Hard pressed but not crushed. Perplexed but not in despair. Persecuted but not abandoned. Struck down but not destroyed.
My life has been peppered with blessing as well as hardship. My life has not evolved into the dreams of my childhood. Oh the dreams. I am most definitely am a dreamer. A creator, a dreamer, an idealist. I see the possibilities no matter how ridiculous the idea. People say it can’t be done and I say why not? Anything is possible. I am so grateful that God gave me a personality that can pick herself back up again. After ridicule. After loss. After disappointment. After anger. After failure. Otherwise I’d be lying in the ditch somewhere. But Paul said he’d learned the secret of contentment in any situation and that secret is “I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength”. So its not really a secret after all, at least not since Paul told the whole world.
My head is bulging with grandiose ideas and plans at any given moment. Often people have asked me where do you get all these ideas? and I’m chuckling to myself as I run through the list written on the inside of my head – choking on all the ones I didn’t even share. There and from Pinterest.
I am what new psychology calls an extroverted introvert. I have always been intimidated by people. However, I was always told when I was a child that I talked far too much and even now I seem to be a chronic over sharer. Is it because I am so excited about everything that’s going on in my heart and mind and soul or is it a cover for the fear and horror of people finding out who I really am inside. I guess that would make me a phony. I’ve always considered myself on the rounder side of big boned but maybe its the insecurities crammed inside fighting for space. I have no ambition to represent myself falsely or set up pretenses. I’m probably more like everyone else than I care to admit. Everyone likes to think of themselves as special in some way and we ARE all special in some way to somebody.
And this is where I want to gather fodder for my blog. From my normal, unspectacular, hard knocks but extremely blessed life because I think many more people can relate to what looks boring on the outside but is full of richness on the inside. I want to draw attention to the richness and the memories that maybe ordinary folk don’t even see or feel in their own lives. We all have a journey to walk…all different and yet so much the same. We don’t know the details of everyone’s journeys but I am sure we all experience much of the same emotions along the way.
We crave love and purpose. And for whatever reason, I feel strongly, that part of my purpose is to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and share what I have learned along the way on the off chance that these stories will resonate with someone and will be the encouragement and laughter they needed in that moment. Some of the stories will just be stories to make us both feel good and there is no harm in that. And some entries will be to let you know you’re not the only one.
The Red Plaid Apron 