Call the Betty Ford Clinic. Or Dr. Phil or Oprah. My name is Geri and I’m addicted. My addiction is not drugs or alcohol; it’s something much more socially acceptable and possibly undetectable to the outside world. Something the world probably considers worthy of addiction. I’m just sorting out whether I am addicted to social media or whether I am addicted to the devise that perpetuates social media or both. When I am asleep at night (or not asleep because I am working out painful leg cramps) my iPhone is always within hands reach (I even bought a lovely aqua colored 5 foot rope cord so I could peruse Pinterest under the covers while lying in bed which I know you are absolutely not supposed to do). I am supposed to be sleeping but I am pinning. I can’t stop myself. Sometimes I look at my pins the next day and wonder ‘what was I thinking? I hate that”. That’s how I know this is addictive, when I am pinning in my sleep. I have read a million times (OK several) how that blue light inhibits true sleep. I also know about over stimulating your mind just before your appointed bedtime. However, I absolutely do not sleep with it touching my skin, arm, stomach, leg and I will definitely not put it under my pillow as I am terrified that the radiation or whatever will cause cancer or worse still, it will wipe my brain clean of any and all information. I could argue that keeping my iPhone on the nightstand is prudent. If I heard a burglar in the house I could call 911. No more cutting the phone lines like the criminals in the old days used to do. Not to mention there is a flashlight on my phone and a Police alarm and a camera so I could take a picture of the intruder just before they smother me with my pillow.
I don’t go anywhere without my phone – nowhere. I panic if I can’t find it or if I leave it at home. I am not sure if the panic is related to the financial implications or if is related to withdrawal. I have been unsuccessfully trying to determine what is a reasonable distance from home to make going back to get it not insane. Can I not go a day without a cellphone? Fifteen years ago I didn’t need it because it wasn’t available and somehow I managed to be able to make coffee dates with friends and be at appointments on time and make arrangements to pick kids up from school and get help for a flat tire and find out whatever I needed to know by other means. If I forgot my grocery list at home I just winged it. If I needed to talk to my husband I called him at work. Now I just text. I used to have dozens of phone numbers memorized which I am sure was great for keeping the brain sharp, but, even that has become irrelevant. As a result my brain has turned to jelly and I can’t remember anything. I walk into a room for something and cannot for the life of me remember what I came for and usually a trip back downstairs to the exact spot of the inception of the thought is required. Even then, sometimes I still can’t remember so I leave for work and as I am standing in the pouring rain, juggling my purse, my Starbucks, my tote bag with my extra shoes, reading for lunchbreak and lunch, I remember what I was looking for. My building pass. But it’s too late now.
I have a glamourous black and white checked, pink trimmed Kate Spade iPhone case that has a built in auxiliary battery in case, heaven forbid, my phone should run out of juice when I am far away from charging power. If I take a lot of pictures, and I usually do, it uses up even more power. My phone is the first thing I reach for in the morning (sorry honey) – because it is my alarm and I have to shut the snooze off every 15 minutes for an hour. This is my early rise breaking in method. I have to be up in absolutely no later than one hour from now so I need to start getting used to the idea. I am pretty sure this is not great for REM sleeping as I am just pretending to be asleep after that first alarm. Did anybody text me overnight? Did anyone put anything interesting on Facebook while I was sleeping? Did I miss out on anything? I am just clamoring for news…any news…I even fall for fake news. And most mornings I am disappointed because there is nothing new under the sun and there is no good news really. I can’t remember the last time I heard good news in the media. Most of the news flashes I see on Facebook, require a consult to SNOPES just to find out if it’s legit or not. Usually it’s not – that tells me something. I loved the one about the millions of spider eggs that were implanted into the original TY bean babies that my kids collect for years and we eventually sent to Samaritan’s purse for shoeboxes and how now, 20 years later, the eggs were hatching and spiders were pouring out of the beanie babies. Please!
In actuality, Facebook is pretty boring and I originally signed up for Facebook to keep in touch with my kids that were spattered across the globe (both of them) but now my daughter doesn’t even use Facebook (since us old foggies took over) Not to mention she is currently living at home. Snap chat’s the thing now. I can’t figure it out. That, and building an empire on Instagram, which I have to admit quite intrigues me. My son, who lives in another city, and has a hobby of movie going and always checks in on Facebook whenever he is at one so I am able to know that he is well and alive if he is checked into, yet, another movie. May I say, that is the ONLY way I know he is alive and well. These devices are phones BTW…something we tend to forget and we ARE paying through the nose for them so free long distance is a given. Had to get that off my chest.
On any typical day, my alarm goes off and I fumble for my phone and hit snooze. If it’s a day that I am going to the gym before work (at work) then I get up immediately and grab my phone and case and head to the bathroom. Yes folks, I take my phone to the bathroom with me. There isn’t that much time in the morning. A quick check of Facebook, Instagram, and my email and I usually get totally distracted. Then this voice in my spirit (not Siri) reminds me that my goal is to ‘seek first the Kingdom of God” and that talking to God should be my first order of the day so I look up the Jesus Calling app on my phone (a book written by Sarah Young that is written in the first person – God being the first person). Her whole focus is on spending more time with God and trusting him and staying close to him, each admonition accompanied by a related scripture. I don’t have time right then to pick up an actual book so this will have to do. This is another warning sign of addiction. Back when I actually had to pick up the Bible with a hardcover, a spine and tissue pages, then I just read the WORD…now with the Bible app on my phone it’s too easy to not actually make it to opening the app if I happen to see a little red number on any of the other icons.
My alarm goes off a few more times as I am getting ready for work and then just before I pull out of the garage I look one more time in case anyone else is up at this ungodly hour sending me texts or posting earth shattering news. Not that earth shattering news is appropriate to be posted on Social Media. That kind of new requires a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. But I really try not to look at my phone when I am driving so I drop it in my purse so that on the off chance that I get stopped for anything I would have to dig around for a few minutes to produce my phone thereby proving that I am not distracted driving.
Ha…just because my phone is buried at the bottom of my purse doesn’t mean I am not distracted driving. With the thoughts and problems and solutions and rehearsals that go on in my mind while I am driving – not to mention the singing and the drinking of Starbucks and the adjusting my clothes – I AM distracted. Don’t report me to the police but sometimes I arrive at my destination and I don’t know how I got there. Sometimes I arrive at the wrong destination and wonder why my car took me there. And if I have a girlfriend, daughter or mother as a passenger and I am talking with my free hand then I am most certainly distracted driving. Although I have read that people that sing when they are driving are better drivers than most. Just as I read that people that talk with their hands are highly creative and intelligent.
I did an experiment one month where I took myself off Facebook and Instagram and in all honesty I did not miss it. Once I knew it wasn’t going to be a part of my routine I just found other ways to inform and distract myself and other things to be obsessive about…. like Pinterest. Seriously though. I did not miss it. I removed the apps from my iPad and my iPhone and for whatever reason, I have never been able to get the Facebook app back on my iPad. That’s probably a good thing. Thank goodness I never got into tweeting. Just one more way to solidify the addiction. The whole concept of sending a ‘tweet’ sounds absolutely bizarre to me anyway. ‘Hey there, I’ll tweet you’. Did the whole tweet thing come from the old axiom “a little birdy told me”? If I tweeted at work would it be called twerking?
My iPad finds its nighttime home on the floor next to my bed as well. Too bad there isn’t an app for a weapon..…you know, for protection against that burglar that’s in my house. Oh yeah, we have gun control in this country. Truth: There is far too much information and news – a lot of it inaccurate – available to us. We can barely process it correctly. And so we process it incorrectly. But there is life outside and above social media and iPhones and iPads. There are real people. Electronics and social media have their place and can be used for good when not used for evil. All of it is truly amazing when you really stop and think about it. I just have to work out a reasonable, doable plan to withdraw myself from the addiction. We can lose true connection with real people when we rely on electronic relationships. There was a movie out called SHE where the main character fell in love with his computer’s operating system. Literally fell in love with the voice and character of an operating system. I mean, do operating systems even have character?? I left the theatre thinking this was absolutely ridiculous but sad to say that’s what has come of our generation.
One of my favorite features of the iPhone is the ability to take pictures and save them and instantly use them on Social Media or print them out. It’s like magic and I am totally intrigued. Very much like flying for me. Once that huge chunk of metal is in the air I just can’t fathom how it stays up there. Of course if I read a book on aerodynamics I might understand it better but I like the idea of magic or God just lifting it off the ground with his huge strong hands and guiding it to its destination.
Not to mention the anger and frustration we exhibit when this tiny little device made of up of metal and chips and other magical stuff doesn’t do what we want it to, exactly when we want it to. It’s almost more amazing than an airplane, when you think of its sending millisecond signals to a satellite in outer space and those signals returning almost instantaneously.
In any case, I must give my head a vigorous shake. I should know better than to let this tiny, flat, 2 ½ by 5 inch piece of wire, metal, glass and electronics rule my life. I think it’s time to implement some rigid parameters. Guidelines that would allow me to use my technology for good and not evil.
And I haven’t told you the half of it. I didn’t tell you how I text my husband when he is upstairs in his man cave and I am downstairs in my studio to inform him that my computer is acting up or not. I didn’t tell you how I text my daughter from bed when I don’t want to get out from underneath the cozy covers to bring me a drink please. I didn’t tell you how Mike texted me, when he was teetering from the top rung of a very tall ladder about to fall to his demise, to come out to the garage and save him. Thankfully his phone was on his person in a pocket he could reach without upsetting the delicate balance of his predicament. So I guess that was a very good thing, this time.
Some Ideas to save myself from myself might be:
• If I wouldn’t say it to someone’s face then don’t say it on Social Media
• Being a Christ follower that is endeavoring to Seek first His Kingdom my phone should not be the first thing I look at in the morning. Charge it in the kitchen overnight and keep the Bible by my bed instead. (The Word is a weapon afterall). Get a real alarm clock.
• Limit my use of Pinterest, Facebook and Instagram. Limit my time spent on my devices. (Maybe this is what God meant in the Word when He said He would give us up to our own devices).
• Spend more time using my iPhone as a phone and inviting people for face-to-face coffee or dinner. Work on my real relationships.
• Don’t believe everything I see and hear and read on Social Media. If I want truth – go to the Word.
• Pursue live hobbies such as sewing, painting, cooking, music, exercise, writing and spend less time checking my phone.
• When at home do not use the Bible app. Pick up the actual book and read it and turn pages and highlight revelations and write in the margins and stop and pray to the real God.
• Do not take iPhone to bed – ever.
The Red Plaid Apron 