60 is the new 40?

How old do you think I am? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

I guess since I do my own hair no one actually is certain of my real age. (well just the fact that I even know of this commercial sort of gives it away ). I could lie about it but why? I am actually quite proud of the fact that I made it this far, only by the grace of God. I have no qualms about reaching the ripe and blessed age of 60 grand years. So many others do not get the privilege to celebrate this milestone and here I am, relatively healthy and unscathed, over blessed with my experiences and memories, on the brink of this birthday. Turning 60 means I have completed 60 years not that I’ll start living in my 60th year. I’ve been living in my 60th year for over 10 months now and it’s been….OK. Well if ok ignores the development of hammer toes, excruciating leg cramps, grey roots, receding gums, gravitational pull on my skin and extra girth, memory failure….need I go on? My peers will understand and relate.

My goal has always been to age gracefully. My doctor recommended I read a book that outlined how to have a 25 year old body when your 90. Seriously? Why would I need a 25 year old body when I’m 90? This doesn’t even make sense. Eventually I will let my grey hair be my glory. My wrinkles a sign of wisdom and experience. My extra girth will be insulation against illness and a natural botox. As long as I am healthy, looking like a supermodel after 60 is unrealistic and unnecessary. Let’s not forget that I have never, at any age, resembled a supermodel. I will do the exercise and eat the whole foods. Get the correct amount of sleep and manage my stress and leave the rest to God. Self absorption is not part of my plan although I do tend to gravitate that way in moments of weakness and apathy. Lord help me.

60 is the new 40. At least that’s what I keep hearing. I remember my 40th birthday vividly (possibly because I have been watching videos of it recently). I do not want to go back there. I have no incling whatsoever to relive the past. Neither the good nor the bad and certainly not the ugly. I have tried to live in all the moments and not wish them away (although there have been times). My hardships and trials have taught me that there is always something to be gained. If you’re going through hell, keep going. Nothing stays the same forever. Not the good and not the bad. If you are walking through a summer season embrace it with gratitude and learn the lessons in that season too.

I’ve experienced many of the most memorable and precious moments I will ever have in my life during these past 20 years but I have also endured some of the most painful hardships of my entire life as well. I am overjoyed to report that I have survived it all. I have survived the moments when I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me and I have survived emotional open heart surgery with no anesthetic. I have spent days and nights with fear as my constant companion.

On the other hand, I have travelled to places I never thought I would. I have met people that have changed my life. I am surrounded by a home team. I have people I (we) can call in the middle of the night and they are there for us, no questions asked. I have witnessed my children grow into these amazing adults that we love spending time with. We’ve celebrated birthdays, graduations and other significant events with them. They’ve gone back and forth from living at home to not living at home to living at home again. Talk about a sentimental journey. And… I have been married to the same sweet man for nearly 36 years. That has been an enormous gift.   I have not had to walk this journey on earth alone and I’m certain at this juncture that we will grow old graciously together… until death us do part. My best place is wherever mike and the kids are.

I eat off the pretty plates and drink out of the precious glasses. I overdress in the luxurious clothes and the dressy shoes because my days are numbered and every day is a special occasion. What am I saving these for? I use any ocassion for a party. Life is a celebration every day. I give the gifts and spoil the loved ones while I can. If a friend wants to meet for coffee or lunch – I’ll leave the dirty dishes and uncleaned bathrooms or unbought groceries and go. I may never capture these moments in time again and I don’t want to regret being rigid with my parameters and priorities. I am quick to forgive and even quicker to ask forgiveness and admit blame. I don’t want my remaining life to be clouded by regret and distance from people I love and need.

In the past 20 years we have purchased (and had built) a brand new home. We’ve been here over 7 years and it feels like we just moved in last month. After 17 years at our previous address the move was nothing short of a nightmare and a miracle.  We thought our friends were going to call the ‘clean sweep’ show and enlist us. Thankfully Oprah is off the air. My plan is to be too old to lift or sort anything by the time of our next move. Half of this stuff belongs to the kids anyway.

I’ve had new career experiences and on the job training for tasks I never thought I was capable of. My past two positions have suffered unexpected demises but I know that I know that I know that’s Gods plans are not to harm me but to prosper me and give me a future and a hope. So I press on. At 60 I’m sure I still have another 10 years of work left in me. I may even finally start my own business or do something creative. Fear has held me back for 60 years. I’ve noticed the Bible doesn’t speak of retirement. People worked until they died and I don’t necessarily need a retirement when I have eternity in heaven to look forward to. My experience on this earth is not my last kick at the cat. Although this brief sabbatical is teaching me what all the retirement hullabaloo is about. It’s nice to relax and not live by the ticking of the clock?

In the past 20 years my relationship with my Heavenly Father has grown into something so much more comfortable and assured than ever before. I have finally learned who I am in Him and have experienced His undying faithfulness even when my faith has wavered. He has always been there for me. He has never left my side and I know now that He never will. His Word has finally changed my life. It’s no longer obligation or onerous or detached from my life experience. His Word is so meshed with my life experience now that I cannot tell where I end and He begins.

And although I am witnessing the world gone mad I still see Gods glorious handiwork almost every single day. A lot of the fear is gone or dissipating and I’m hoping there is a new maturity emerging. It only took 60 years. I’m still human and I still make horrendous mistakes and I still confront many of the same issues I’ve been challenged by for years but I feel more at peace with the outcome.

So… 60… bring it on!