The Hardest Job in the World (continued)

Its interesting to realize that safety and growth are not actually synonymous.
Not only arent they synonymous they are practically opposites. Anybody that clings to safety will most likely not grow so now I have a conundrum.

The other thing that occurs to me is this, I have about as much control over their safety as I do of the Pope. It’s not my job (anymore). At 26 and 30 they have to take ownership for their safety to a large degree. I still offer up unsolicited advice but no ones listening. And that, folks, is what makes this job so dang hard.

As a mother, I just finally get a handle on my responsibilities for a certain phase and then all the rules change and I have to loosen my grip a bit more. I liked being needed. I enjoyed being the centre of their universe. I took my responsibilities seriously and trained myself to be their secret service. Although it wasn’t that much of a secret.

I am a fixer and a rescuer mainly because I can. I’m very self sufficient, always have been. Phrase most often heard coming out of my mouth: I can do that myself.

But I have to pull back and let these adults find their own way, make their own mistakes, solve their own problems and achieve their own victories. They have to know they can and I must not interfere. Oh that rips my heart out. I feel….so helpless. I just want to save them a lot of grief and let them learn through my experience but that is not the way most of our kids work. They have to learn on their own. Let’s face it… the only reason I have the advantage of wisdom is because of my own experience…. good experiences and not so good experiences aka: mistakes.

I’ve been demoted. At least it feels that way. My new role is to love, support, encourage and pray. That’s it! Not that that is a small insignificant task. Why does it feel that way often?

Although the mother role is continually changing and evolving, meaning you are continually learning – it has been the most rewarding job I have had the privilege to fill. Hard but worth it. Rewarding. Just the fact that my kids made it past the age of two and are still talking to me is a major accomplishment. I had lots of help… yes, Mike, but more significant even than that, the Lord. Because I do have callouses on my knees as a result of the prayer going up for them. I have hit the wall many times over the years in regards to fear, anger, frustration and exhaustion but the Lord graciously heard my prayers and came to the rescue. And He reminds me of my purpose and role in my kids lives ‘for such a time as this’. And there’s no need for me to make this job harder than it needs to be. They are His and I am His. And nobody is going to lay me off of this job. It belongs to me. The pay is crap but the benefits are Cadillac.