The Happy Diet

Peeps, I’ve discovered a new diet. Well, I guess I invented it more than discovered it. It’s the Sweet BBQ chips Venti peach green tea lemonade Hot tomales diet. If you’re thinking this is a weight loss diet, don’t, because it doesn’t do that. Think of it as the ‘happy diet’ because it makes you happy until… it doesn’t.

While you are munching on your chips and washing them down with that refreshing peach/green tea/lemonade concoction you are in heaven. Pure bliss. Green tea is the new magic health serum is it not? Im just making it more palatable. I’ve decided that since sugar is the real culprit in declining health that these chips are the best choice over all the Starbucks confections. Follow that up with a few mouth jolting hot tomales (to speed up your metabolism) and your in your happy place. Until you try on your stretchy white jeans from last summer and you cannot get them done up (did I mention they are stretchy?). This is where the happy diet breaks down.

I guess this is why people often label chubby people as jolly. Because the food they are eating IS making them happy-in that moment. These people are happy because they get to eat what they want. They get to eat what makes them feel good emotionally.

So I’m giving the chubby happy thing a whirl for a bit, in case you hadn’t noticed. It works nicely in that you don’t have to count calories or points or say ‘no thanks I can’t eat that’ as you glance longingly at the delectable offering that is not on your list of approved foods. So much less work. Less math. Less deprivation. Less hangry. Let’s just say I’m a nicer person over all. It’s been quite freeing to just not care.  Sometimes when I’m out with friends (I usually don’t go out with enemies) I’ll just say in an unusually loud voice ‘well my agent wanted me to gain 25 pounds for this new role’.

Unfortunately, my doctor told me I was totally depleted of Vitamin B12 and did I notice I was having difficulty dragging my assets around? Yup! I thought I was just being lazy. She wants me to have B12 shots. I asked where a person gets B12 from in their diet and not one food she mentioned was sweet BBQ chips, peach green tea lemonade or hot tomales.

So I’m happy when I’m enjoying my new food addictions and this works when I’m lounging around the house in my baggy plaid GAP housecoat/shirt (which I can do because I’m jobless) or making a Starbucks run in my Lulus. The trouble begins when I attempt to get dressed to go out and look respectable and stylish. Style is overrated, don’t you think? Maybe you’re thinking it’s time to stage an intervention. I’m way ahead of you.

June 7 I am embarking on the Whole 30 journey. I got this idea from one of my favorite blogger/authors Jen Hatmaker. This month I am reading the books to prepare my life for this challenge. The premise is to only eat whole clean life giving foods for 30 days and totally break your cravings for crap food. Usually as I’m reading I’m sipping upon a peach green tea lemonade which will inevitably have to go. I’ll still be able to have the green tea just not the peach and sugary lemonade enhancers.

This program (by Melissa Hartwig and Dallas Hartwig) is about eating for health and vitality and is basically a reset. Apparently, if done properly and diligently it will change your life. By the end of 30 days I should not even want my new favorite happy diet foods and I will still be happy…. probably even more happy as my white jeans will fit.

I’ll keep you posted.