Authentically yours….

I remember being in a hot spin/yin class with Lexie and after the instructor (or yogi) had nearly torn our muscles to shreds, she asked us to stretch ourselves as high up to the ceiling as we possibly could and while we were up there ‘to feel our authenticity’. I looked at Lexie and literally spit out a laugh. ‘Where does she get this stuff?’ I wondered? What did it mean? Feel that I am a real person and not just a mirage or a mannequin? I mean anything that involved lying on my mat on the floor with a hot eucalyptus cloth on my forehead – I was into. Spew whatever ridiculous yogi-isms you want, I’m tuned out. I’m having an outer body experience as sweat pours down my frame. I’m authentic all right. Authentically relaxed and sleeping. Wake me when it’s over. Lexie is poking me to alert me that the room is empty and I authentically have to get up and drive home now. BTW that class cost an authentic $22. Did someone say spoiled and luxury in the same sentence?

I don’t think this is the same kind of authentic we discussed in our home group several weeks ago. Our first question for discussion was to identify someone we considered truly authentic. I threw out Trumps name for a laugh and a laugh it did get. Billy Grahams name came up but I’m pretty sure that person was describing integrity. Authentic, we decided, meant real and consistent. So I guess if someone is a real jerk and is consistently a jerk then he is an authentic jerk.

I mentally ran down the list of people I associate with on a regular basis and could only really think of one or two people that I considered truly authentic. In my thinking, someone authentic is going to be consistent in character and speech. Their actions will match their words -always. I will always know what to expect from them. They will be the same person every time I am with them. No surprises. No secrets. No hiding. No pretenses. They will not try to be someone they are not and they will always be honest and upfront. They will be a safe place. This appears to be a difficult thing to do.

Then we discussed whether being authentic involved being vulnerable. I, personally, think it does. If I am being very real and honest then I am making myself vulnerable because I have no idea how you will process what I am projecting. I’m not hiding anything so that makes me an open book. I also believe humility enters the picture as well. If we are caught up in the image we are projecting then pride enters the scenario. If we try to project an image that is more favourable than we deserve then pride has run amuck. This is so easy to do with social media these days. People only get to see what we want them to see. That’s a another blog for another day.

I want to be authentic. I want to be real. And this should come so naturally but often, it doesn’t. I want to be a safe place. Seriously folks, putting up pretenses is exhausting. I don’t have no time for dat!

I think we all fake it now and then and maybe rightfully so. When we don’t want to burden people. They are going through a lot and the last thing they need to know is that your life is falling apart, so we hide that. But hopefully you have people in your life that can handle the truth and allow you to be authentic. If someone knows the real me, with all my warts and foibles, and still loves me or wants to be around me, well that’s a relationship worth pursuing and protecting.

I want my motto to be ‘what you see is what you get’. No hidden agendas, no pretending, no hiding. And if I’m being authentic then maybe, just maybe, that will allow you to be authentic too. Who are we hiding and why?