My Father, My Fan, My Friend

I consider myself, of all women (and children) most blessed. I had a father  who was a stellar man. A man of integrity and quiet inner strength. A man of humour and love of family.  I was named after him so thats probably why I was his favorite – I mean, he was MY favorite. His name was Gerald, thus the Geraldine. Apparently you name the second son after the father but I turned out to be a girl. His middle name was Ross and so my middle name is Rae.

I thought my dad was great! I loved the way he used to lay on the living room rug in front of the stereo every Sunday afternoon and listen to his favorite music. Now that music is my favorite music too. I’m listening to it now.

Of course he used to roll on the floor laughing when we put on performances at home which we did quite often. Yes, we had our own little Broadway thing going on, with costumes and sets and even music that yours truly made up. We used to sell tickets and popcorn and dad never wanted to pay because he claimed the paper the tickets were printed on and the popcorn were his in the first place. He had a point.

I loved going camping with my dad. He turned it into such a cool adventure. He had our tent trailer decked out with the most imaginative conveniences. He made us color coded drawers in the trailer so we wouldn’t need suitcases. And he rigged up the best kitchen tent. He even cooked a roast on the exhaust manifold as we drove through the mountains listening to Hagood Hardy on the 8track. The aroma was getting pretty intense as we drove into the campground. I’m sure everyone else thought the Gallopping Gourmets food truck had arrived. Imagine…. having a roast beef dinner while you’re camping. Dad knew how to camp in style.

When mom was in the hospital having my younger siblings and dad had to take care of the rest of us he was always resourceful. We girls always had long hair and in order to get our hair in ponytails, the easiest hairdo he could think of, dad placed an elastic around the hose of the vacuum cleaner and sucked our hair into it then slid the elastic into our hair. Not sure how clean our hair was after but it did the trick.

With 7 kids to feed one had to be economical and creative so dad invented one of our favorite meals ‘beans, bologna and cheese’ and nobody could spread a pizza crust, with no holes, as thin as my dad. He invented thin crust pizza.

I remember dad quitting a job because he was asked to do something unethical. At that time he probably had 5 kids and a wife to take care of but he wasn’t going to make a living being someone’s yes man and undermining his own integrity. I was so proud of him even though I knew this meant tough times. We were living in Regina at the time, I think,  and he was offered a job in northern Manitoba and was vasilating as to whether to uproot his family and move and was actually discussing it with the whole family and I think it was me that said “what have we got too lose?” And Dad agreed and we moved back to Manitoba.

When I evolved into a teenager it didn’t take me long to figure out that if I wanted something I ask dad first, even though mom was the real boss. I knew dad would say yes and then what’s mom gonna do? In Grade 8 I wanted to go to the school dance with Dennis Watier, the jewellers son. So I asked dad. Of course he said yes and I skipped the lecture I would have received from mom. She caved and made me a dress to wear on my first date. The most hedious coral coloured fortel dress. I wonder if she made it hideous on purpose. I mean, let’s get serious, nothing looked good in fortrel. I only think it was popular because it wore like a suit of armour.

Actually one of my favorite memories was of Dad playing tennis with us. He always used just one hand to win (every single time) because he had to hold his cigarette in the other one. He reminded me of James Bond.

When I was in high school dad bought a motor boat since we lived 30 minutes away from Clearwater Lake in Manitoba. We felt like we were the most spoiled kids ever. I loved that boat. Dad and my older brother, Mick, went fishing one time and dad dropped his watch into the water and jumped in after it. Which was odd because dad couldn’t swim making it necessary for Mick to jump in after him and save him. Mick had his bronze medallion in swimming which gave him lifeguard status. I believe the watch still sits at the bottom of Clearwater lake like artifacts from the Titanic.

Dad was a man of few words but when he did talk you had better listen up because it was going to be something profound and wise. Like: if you’re going to be a smartass then first you’d better make sure you’re smart otherwise you’re just an ass. And: don’t sweat the small stuff (which he was telling us long before the book of the same name came out). Dad and I seemed to be able to connect just by sitting in the same room, same couch, no words spoken.

When many of us, one by one, decided to go to Bible college Dad was totally ok with it even though he wasn’t a believer. He even helped us get there and came to hear our singing groups or our preaching when we made trips with the college to small towns in Saskatchewan and Manitoba. I felt he was very proud of his kids and how they were turning out. Mom has told me that dad was never happier than when all his kids were home and as a parent now, I know exactly how he felt.

Dad saved my life in a major relationship crisis after I graduated from Bible college. I was living in Saskatoon and found myself engaged to a young man I knew I would never marry but I didn’t know how to end it. I won’t go into the details but Dad heroically saved me from making a huge mistake when I was totally incapable of getting myself out of this mess and he did it with such love and strength. I will forever be grateful for what he did for me as it literally changed the course of my life.

The way dad took care of me during this difficult time for me reminded me of my Heavenly Father. Dad poured out wisdom and encouragement and love and told me he had a plan for my immediate future and he also told me not to be afraid because he would be right outside waiting for me as I carried out the dastardly deed. True to his word he was waiting for me and consoled me and put me on a plane for Calgary to live with my uncle (his brother – my second favorite man on the planet at that time).

Mom and dad moved to Calgary in 1996 and moved into an apartment two blocks away from us. Dad was always willing to help out with whatever we needed such as bringing me spare keys while I was going through a sleep deprived phase and constantly locking my keys in my car.Dad helped me transform my basement into a sewing studio so I could teach sewing classes to kids to finance my own kids going to a private school. He also helped me recover many pieces of furniture. We were a good team. Again, very few words were spoken but we were on the same wave length. I remember running into a conundrum with the fabric as we were recovering a couch and he thought of a solution but it involved compromising perfection. I’m not a perfectionist either  and I was thinking of the exact same solution and we just looked at each other and both knew what the other was thinking. That’s how we were going to solve the problem and we did.

After dads first heart attack, that miraculously didn’t kill him, he tried to escape the hospital. After his Code Blue, he found his cowboy boots in a closet and put them on and the nurses found him in the hall on the phone calling a taxi. He was hilarious if not delusional. We had him for for 12 more precious years after that.

I don’t remember the exact circumstances but I will never forget my dad telling me that ‘I was a good daughter’. That affirmation has carried me through many difficult circumstances and influenced many of my choices since his passing. I wear his name with pride and love and pray I will do it justice.

Thanks dad for your legacy and I remember you on this and every Fathers Day. You were my father, my fan and my friend.