Oscar the Grouch. Who me?

My husband implied….sometimes I wake up grouchy and sometimes I just let you sleep. Why is he still alive you ask? Because I know in my heart of hearts he’s right and it’s true. I have been struggling on a few levels and I thought I was doing a good job of keeping it inside but apparently not. Apparently I’ve been spewing that slimy green stuff of Ghostbusters fame all over my family. In my defence, I didn’t know I was doing it.

My husband and I had a tiny altercation the other night and I was incredulous as to how quickly this turned into another night of Stampede fireworks. Then I basically attacked my family because they weren’t living up to my expectations or meeting my needs. My horrible bad. I adore my family. I would be lost without them. They are the wind beneath my wings.

Let’s face it, living with four adults in the house isn’t the simplest dance in the first place. Especially when two of those adults are still trying to shake off their ‘child’ status. Of course, I have all kinds of reasons and excuses why I would be grouchier than my usual easy going carefree self. Who am I kidding? Anyone that really knows me will know those adjectives do not, never have and never will describe me. I am deep, complicated and emotional. I can also be implusive with my emotions. My emotions are the bain of my existence… always getting me in trouble.

I guess my problem is I’m always trying to do Gods work and believe me, it’s not easy. I guess that’s why it’s Gods work and not mine. Why would I even imagine I could pull off what only He can do. My job is to just keep making my requests known, with prayer and supplication, oh… and thanksgiving and the peace of Christ that passes all understanding (because it wouldn’t be natural for a highly emotional person like myself to have that kind of peace) will keep me grounded in Him.

So instead of lashing out at the people I love most in the whole world and puncturing holes in the delicate membrane that is our family life I should have just taken all my concerns and stresses to the Lord and let Him work His perfect magic in our home. Well it may not look like perfect magic anytime soon but it will when all is said and done. He knows what He is doing. I, on the other hand, do not.