I did not want to get out of bed today. The sky was overcast and I could feel the cool breeze blowing through the bedroom. I told myself it was too ugly for walking. It just felt so fine to lay under the covers and realize that I could do anything I wanted. Get up, not get up. Go for a walk, don’t go for a walk. I could just pull the covers back on and lay there to my hearts content. It was my choice. No one was expecting anything from me at all. I argued with myself for about an hour after Mike left for work. Sometimes we just need a good lazy day. How many times, when I was working, did I just long to stay in bed and hide from the world and all it’s responsibilities and expectations and harshness? I was now in a position to do just that.
But…. I dutifully forced myself to put feet on the floor, walk upright, because that’s just the kind of gal I am. I’m a creature of duty and guilt. I quickly made the bed, adjusting the sheets, duvet and cushions to perfection, lest I crawl back in. I sauntered down the stairs to the kitchen just to make sure I was fully awake and fully alive. Then I unlocked the patio door and wandered out onto the deck and then the lawn. I wanted to make sure I would not talk myself into returning to my comfy lazy safe bed.
I did some putzing around the house, rounding up a load of laundry to match one item. Did the dishes that miraculously appeared in the sink overnight. Ironed a top that I wasn’t planning on wearing today, I just wanted it to be ready when I did get the urge to wear it. Checked my emails, Instagram and Facebook. Made my daughters bed just because. I was stalling. What I really needed to do was slip (and by slip, I mean wrestle) into my lulus and joggers and hit the pavement.
I decided to treat myself and drive to the reservoir for my walk. I get tired of walking through the neighborhood critiquing people’s lawns and backyards. I needed to get into nature. Be surrounded by mountains or trees and water so I drove myself to the reservoir. I parked my car at the shopping centre bordering the reservoir and began my workout.
It was still partly overcast and windy and sporadically chilly. Looked like rain but I just tied my rain jacket with hood around my waist and set out. It wasn’t long before my eyes caught side of some purple wildflowers blowing in the long marshy grass along the trail. As I made my way at a decent clip along the path, I was passed by bikers and joggers. The paddle wheel boat from the park across the reservoir was out on the water blowing its horn. I kept walking until I rounded the corner to the sailing school. A perfect day for learning to sail. I took pictures and videos so I could rewatch these calming moments. Watching those crisp white sails shooting across the waves speaks to me of purpose and destination. Of skill and fearlessness. Of clarity and resolve.
I kept on. Past sailing students enjoying a BBQ lunch. Past some leaves already yellowing on August 4th. Past an elderly lady sunning herself with eyes closed on a memorial bench. Until I had completed the loop where I entered the path. I hadn’t been walking long enough so I paused to decide if I would go further or succomb to the call of Starbucks. I decided to go the extra mile (literally) because that’s the kind of gal I am. I pressed on. Past larger private sail boats moored in the water, moms with strollers, old couples with hats, holding hands, until I reached the Heritage Park end of the trail. That’s not actually the end of the trail but it was as far as I was going. I turned back, glad I’d made the effort. One deliberate choice after another.
Always feeling accomplished when I make the effort. I know it’s good for me but maybe laying in bed until noon, just because I can would be good for me too?
The Red Plaid Apron 