THAT MOM

True confessions. I was THAT mom. You know the one. The one whose daughter’s waist long, lemon juice tinted hair was always perfectly coifed for school and church – and camping and play dates etc. Not to mention the nail polish at 3 and the pierced ears at 5. The mom that never failed to bring homemade and exquisitely decorated sugar cookies or cupcakes (sometimes both) to her kids classes on their birthdays. I was upset when they informed me in middle school I had to stop. ( The kids not the teachers.) That mom that always volunteered to help the teachers decorate their bulletin boards or decorate the teachers lounge. Yes I was the one that made pies for the schools grand opening picnic and they ended up being auctioned off for $125@. I was always available for field trips to the Zoo, Chinatown, Banff, Grotto canyon, skating, curling, swimming, the Science centre, Circle Square Ranch – i should have been on salary. I even had one of the students yank my sleeve crying ‘teacher, teacher…’. Speaking of science, I designed most of Andrew’s award winning science projects… often enlisting Mike to carry them off. I overheard Andrew say to his friend once ‘I wish my mom wasn’t so creative – the pressure!!!’ I was a homework fiend. I always loved homework, always have, still do and was always chomping at the bit to see what mark I got (I mean what mark the kids got). It has been said that I really didn’t need university since I graduated grade 12 three times. Once in 1975, once in 2005 and once in 2008.

I was THAT mom who sewed her kids clothes. Who made her daughter matching coats and dresses every Easter and a new dress for the first day of school and of course for the Christmas concert. I cut my sons hair in the style of the day. I always decorated the house and the food for Easter, Birthdays, Father’s Day, Canada day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines and very often St. Patrick’s since we are Irish Stewart’s, apparently. I was THAT weirdo who made heart shaped waffles, heart shaped pizzas and heart shaped full-pan chocolate chip cookies on Valentine’s Day. At Easter I found a new way to hide chocolate eggs every year. I made a big hoohaw out of every single holiday even making a few up of my own, such as ‘first snow of winter’ holiday or ‘cousins are coming to town’ holiday. We once created a red carpet on the sidewalk for their arrival one summer.

If I had to be away, I bought all the groceries and cooked all the meals. Organized all the clothes, left daily notes and treats hidden under pillows and in pockets, arranged sleepovers and carpools and after school care so everything would run like clockwork and my little darlings would not be inconvenienced or lacking in any way.

I made amazing LEGO structures. I made all the puzzles. Played all the games. Watched all the Disney movies. Played with all the Barbies (elevating this obsession with homemade Barbie house and clothes). It was always my idea to go to TOYS R US. I was as enthusiastic and obsessed as they were to collect the most valuable and rare Beanie Baby Bears. I made cozy quilts and duvets for the kids beds and don’t get me started on how I decorated their rooms.

Yes I was that lunatic that made my kids homemade lunches everyday and loved it (most of the time) as well as picked them up from school with after school snacks in the car. Last day of school before Christmas and summer was always lunch out and a movie and shopping. I was having a blast! Forgot your lunch at home? No problem I’ll go home and get it because you, dear sweetums, are my life.

I was THAT over-the-top mom that threw her kids themed birthday parties every year. (It was for me, not them really). I LOVE planning events and stuff. I thrived on surprises. Setting the mood. Camping? More like glamping.   I cooked for a week preparing homemade food and baking to take with. Made sure we had all the cozy clothes and rain gear, games, waterguns, swimsuits and floaties, s’more ingredients, flashlights for everyone.

I was THAT mom who tossed the kids towels in the dryer just before they got out of the tub so they’d have warm and cozy. I did the same with their sheets and blankets on cold winter nights. I made them quilts for no reason other than a labor of love. That and the fact that I got a kick out of cutting good fabric into tiny pieces and sewing them back together again in a different design.

I was a baseball mom until I realized Andrew spent all of his time catching flies in his cap (I mean real flies not pop flies). I was a dance mom. Lexie began in in ballet. Loved attending the Nutcracker just to see her move up the ranks each year. When I realized ballet wasn’t going to be her thing I switched her over to figure skating. I was THAT mom that sat through every session and practice with snacks and encouragement in spite of the fact there were icicles hanging off my nose and stayed up to ungodly hours designing and sewing skating costumes. Drive to the neighbouring town for competitions… no problem. Next up? Irish dancing. Yup… spent a month of evenings designing and sewing a Feis competition dress. Those Irish dancing dresses were over the roof pricey.

We did a staycation one summer due to lack of funds and I took the kids to every site and activity that Calgary had to offer. The Stampede, Butterfield acres, Calgary Tower, Lake Sicome, ice cream in Cochrane, Johnsons canyon, the Zoo, science centre, LRT ride just for the experience, Heritage Park. Movies, picnics, city pools. We did it all. Several other summers I bought seasons passes for a Heritage Park and we went at least once a week to ride the  caterpillar and eat candy until we were too dizzy to walk home. Bought the kids a baby Sheltie pup for Christmas and put it in their stocking. I’m not even kidding.

I could go on but I won’t as even I’M getting tired and nauseated. Why did I do all this? To make memories. To show love. To live vicariously. To have fun. Because I could. But I’m only human, there were times when all of this was a bit much and the appreciation shown was in no way commensurate  to the effort, expense and emotional energy invested. I truly did it out of love and not for recognition but people continued to marvel which was totally embarrassing, if truth be told. Often I’ve felt I had to tone things down a bit so I didn’t make people, and by people, I mean other moms, feel bad.

Be grateful that I wasn’t also a THAT mom that was in tiptop shape and arrived everywhere in my ‘leave little to the imagination’ Lulus and Nikes with perfect makeup and hair and designer bags. I thought I would cut you some slack and be a slob. I couldn’t be super mom AND super model both. Ain’t nobody got time for dat.

So when you run into other moms and women who operate at this level, just let them be. They are not trying to make you look bad or elevate themselves. Maybe they are just having fun and getting the most out of life and trying to leave their kids with good, whole and healthy memories. Love them.  Maybe they are insecure and trying to prove themselves. Love them. Maybe they are kind and generous with lots of energy and ideas. Love them.

And if any of this was damaging, I plead ignorance. I thought I was doing good. If nothing else I sure had fun. I miss those neurotic days said no mom ever.