Pass the popcorn please.

A repost from October 2015…

You know that feeling when you feel your life has come unglued? And you need to quickly chase after the bits and rally them back under your umbrella and nail them down once and for all so they don’t scatter again? It all started with one sorrowful event and then another sorrowful event and then a stressful chronic environment and then the onset of chronic confusing scary circumstances followed up by a taxing emotional tearing of the heart and before you know it you’ve lost all sense of control and discipline and you find yourself wandering and pondering and going nowhere. Interspersed between all of this have been some beautiful moments and unforgettable memories but it really is time to pull it all back together. To regain focus – regain strength – regain purpose….but how?

The world is overshadowed by chaos and that is exactly how it was predicted to be in these days but in the midst of all of this…let’s call it ‘life’…we must remember who holds the whole thing in HIS hands and remember to whom we belong. When we are running hither and thither in the strong winds and blinding rain trying to latch onto all that we’ve lost or that has blown away and we just snatch one area back and another one slips through our fingers and has blown too high to grab….and we stand their huffing and puffing and berating ourselves for being such a mess. So we just fall into a huddle in a puddle of our own tears and cry our hearts out. Somehow it is temporarily healing. It’s like a draining of poisonous toxins. We have a good cry (in the shower, if that suits) and then we muster up the strength to carry on. But then we hear this still small voice that repeats… You are not alone. When we feel like we can’t take it anymore we take it to the one that can. We offer our mess up with open hands and the one that created us and knows us intimately, takes it and divinely continues to sort it all out and if we watch carefully – with open eyes, ears and hearts – we will see how HE crafts our healing into something even more beautiful than what got away. If that is possible…sometimes our perception of what we lost was pretty amazing, very precious, highly memorable and pricelessly valuable….but HE is turning it all into something even more. He will take everything and use it for our good. He always has our best interests in mind. But it takes time to craft something this perfect so we must patiently wait and remember that HE is working on our behalf – at all times – He works when we don’t. He is faithful to complete what HE started. And we are off the hook…we don’t have to fix all of this…He will do it. He will clean up our mess and HE will cover us with His feathers until these calamities have passed. And in the meantime….we are encouraged to rest and receive peace that passes all understanding. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens and I think it’s time to let up and let go. Loosen my grasp on that need for control and perfection and “right now” answers and cease trying to make it all happen on my own.

Blast that self-sufficient character trait….a time to loosen my grasp on what I think should be happening and just give the Lord a chance to show off. I’ve always had very high expectations of everyone and everything and mostly of myself…I’m hard to impress but I am pretty sure that if I let go – God will knock my socks off. He’s done it before. So I think I’ll just sit back and watch the show. Pass the popcorn please.