My Pink Collar

Apparently my skill set is considered pink collar. A Pink-collar worker is one who is employed in a job that is traditionally considered to be women’s work. The term pink-collar worker was used to distinguish female-orientated jobs from the blue-collar worker, a worker in manual labor, and the white-collar worker, a professional or educated worker in office positions. Who knew? I didn’t. But I’m down with it since pink is one of my favorite colours, next to black. Actually pink really looks lovely next to black. I digress.

As anyone who reads my drivel knows, I’ve been unemployed for almost eleven months. I never, in my wildest imagination, thought I would be out of work this long. It hasn’t been at all unpleasant just confusing. It’s baffling but as I have been pondering it in my heart, I have come to some conclusions.

After I caught my balance from being tossed to the curb of redundancy (I like to dramatize it), I made the decision to take a paid holiday. My choice. Since I had several months of severance I just thought I would take advantage of it and worry about employment later. Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow, you may still think of a way to get out of it. Well, 11 months later, I still haven’t figured out a way that we could survive financially without me bringing home some bacon. I considered a tea cup pig but that’s not really the kind of bacon we need right now.

I began to half heartedly apply for positions in mid July, as it was a requirement for collecting employment insurance benefits. I only applied for positions that I would seriously be interested in, in the off chance that I got called in for an interview and offered the job. Do not worry about what you will eat or drink or what you will wear or where you will work, your Heavenly Father knows your needs. I firmly believe that.

That said, as I reflect on my job search efforts over the past year it occurs to me that I’ve been projecting the wrong vibes. You see, many of my well intentioned friends encouraged me to start my own business because of my many creative skills and endeavours. This would be my last season of employment, why not go out with a bang? Not that I hadnt had these same thoughts quite often.

Then there was the other camp that said, no, don’t turn what you love into work. You’ll end up resenting your work and it will take all the fun out of it. You’ve got the experience to do administrative work and it’s been good to you (minus the shutdown and the layoff), so continue with that and save your creativity to bless others or make some income in your spare time. I probably should have spent more time on my knees and less time wailing my woes to others. Maybe they were just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear.

I’m not blaming anyone for anything. Once again, I make my own choices. But I had two interviews for two possible positions in September and both fizzled . Again, the week before Christmas, I had two more companies interview me. Few and far between. Once again, nothing. I was certain one of those positions was mine. Wrong again.

I have always been the type of student that does great on the day to day assignments but foils the exam. Maybe that’s what was happening here? I’m just not comfortable or trained to handle the Spanish Inquisition style of interview.

After talking with a friend who’d had some interview coaching and more insight than I, we came to the conclusion that maybe I was projecting a contrary attitude that I was unaware of and that was obvious to the interviewers. Was I really sabatoging myself? I think so. It occurs to me, because I hadn’t decided which route I would go, I was not really taking the interviews seriously and that was coming across to the interviewers. Plus those Christmas interviews? They were just an inconvenience at an inconvenient time when I was focusing on my favorite season, Christmas. Hello? Maybe in my subconscious I didn’t really want those jobs. I said I did, with my heart and my mouth but did I really?

Also, I’ve had a rebellious attitude towards the new interview process. I have looked at it with distain and haven’t tried all that hard to learn how to play the game. I have had an attitude that administrative work is not rocket science. Quit pretending it is, thus, possibly projecting a non serious and non committed vibe. Of course these companies take these opportunities seriously and they want to know that you do too. Oy vey!

I’ve had the good fortune to try out many of the ideas I had for doing my own thing. Planning events, cooking and baking for others, I even coordinated a wedding the day of, in the fall. I’ve remodelled clothes and sewn items for people, done people’s shopping and it finally occurs to me that no, I don’t want to do these things for a living. You see, I’m not a business person. Or even a marketer, I have many creative skills but that is not enough to run my own business. I’ve actually already been there and done that.

In conclusion, I have decided to learn how to play the game and get serious about getting a corporate administrative job. That will be my undivided focus going forward. That doesn’t mean I will get one if that’s not what God wants for me but I have to draw a line in the sand and narrow my focus and intentions. I’m not a victim unless I make myself into one. So I’m going to pursue temp work in the hopes of getting my groove back. Don’t cry for me Argentina.