The Storm before the Calm

Written on December 15th….

Busyness is a covert and stealth operation. I know better than to say yes to everything and then find myself dead tired and exhausted beyond comprehension. I am there now. How did this come to be? Did I mention ‘I know better? Especially in this season when I like to slow down and enjoy all the Christmas moments. Lately I have been speeding by them at warp speed and missing a lot. BUT….I still have nine days to slow down and smell the holly. Those that follow my blog will notice I haven’t written much lately and that is most likely because I haven’t had time to read. I get my inspiration from reading. I long to stretch out by the fire and open my current book and just read for a few hours…sipping on my favorite beverage and listening to Kenny G. Instrumental so as to not distract from the message of my current read.

I was just marching along, minding my own business, working a few days a month outside the home and the rest of the time, redoing furniture and baking cakes for milestone celebrations, painting and making paper roses….figuring out my strategy for my Etsy store and social media collaboration when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I flew to my window to see what was the matter and what to my wondering eyes should appear? ….. my daughter’s opportunity to run the Christmas House for two months popped up. Literally. Its a Christmas popup shop that she was referred to by a fellow floral designer. Well….I thought. Christmas House? That sounds right up my alley so I told her to sign me up as I wouldn’t have much else for work. And I decided I would take on Christmas baking for others again. This I could handle. I was looking forward to spending days surrounded by Christmas decor, listening to Christmas music and helping people get into their Christmas spirit groove AND the days I have spend at the Christmas House have been a reprieve of sorts (a mini retreat from the hustle and bustle of life). I also find baking in my own kitchen to be relaxing and restorative and one of my happy places.

Then, very unexpectedly, the company I had been doing administrative work for a few days a month turned into weekly….three days a week to be exact. Wasn’t expecting that but couldn’t say no to that either, so I find myself with literally no days off. When I do have a day off, its spent driving Miss Daisy. Late nights. Skipped meals (resulting in weight loss – yay). Hair needs help. Nails need doing. I haven’t cooked a real meal in a month. Behind on laundry. No date nights with the hubs. Somehow I did manage to get the house decorated for Christmas. So here I sit and type, when I should be baking or sewing or cleaning. But I just don’t feel like it. Sleeping five days in a row would be lovely. We have a Christmas invite this evening and I work the Christmas House tomorrow followed by one of the hubs office parties. Today (and 3 days prior) was spent pulling the company kids christmas party together. Monday – Banff Springs. Tues/wed/thurs – work (with a dinner Christmas party tossed in mid week). Christmas house on Friday and my brother and his family showing up for Christmas on Saturday.

I am definitely not proud of these circumstances. In any way. I don’t believe that ‘busy’ equals success. I don’t believe that ‘busy’ means I am worth more. I don’t believe that ‘busy’ is something to be aspired to. This wasn’t my plan and now I have to sort out how I am going to find a little peace and rest between now and December 25th. I feel more like a failure. Because I DO believe in living in the moment and seeking the peace and receiving the gift of His rest. So the challenge is to make the most of every moment and find the good in it. Find the rest. Seek the peace. Remain grateful because I AM grateful for these opportunities. They just kind of blind sided me and I have to regroup.

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