In Your Dreams

I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot lately.  Not the kind of dreams you have when you’ve drifted off into lalaland.  No, I’m talking about the kind of dreams that begin to formulate when you’ve been laid off three times from jobs that you weren’t sure why you were doing anyway.
All my life, I have played it safe.  Don’t take any risks or walk out on any limbs.  A person could get hurt doing that.  They could fail.  They could look foolish.  It might be more work than they bargained for.  They could go broke. It could be painful and who needs more of that? So I have played my cards pretty close to my vest.
I’ve never thought of myself as the kind of person that can have a dream. Not a dream that I want to turn into a reality anyway.   I’m more of a wisher.  More of a ‘someday’ kind of person. People like me don’t get to dream.  I’m not Martin Luther King.   I don’t get to do great things.  I am just an just average person that plays it safe and tries to keep my nose clean and stay out of trouble.  What’s with all this new fangled talk of dreams?
It finally occurs to me that people that are doing things that I want to do had to start somewhere.  They started from nothing. OK…some started from wealth and power but a lot started from nothing…just like me. There has to be that burning dream and desire deep in your soul that this is what you want to do and nothing is going to stop you.  I’m going to dream big and if I end up with only half of what I’m dreaming, it will still be a win.
I’ve always wished and dreamed that I could do something that I was good at, to make a living.  The facts are – I have to work for our family to thrive and survive.  Just the way it is for us.   Why can’t I be doing something I am good at and something I love?  Where is the crime in that?  Instead of always feeling like I sold out to something my heart just isn’t into because its ‘safe’?   True…one of these corporate admin jobs (just jobs to me, not a career) could be a means to an end.  I don’t discount that and I may find myself working admin again just to move closer to the dream. But the dream has to be there and after I have assessed all my talents and strengths and that of my family’s…because there is no way I am a one woman show…I think I know what I want to do.  People have been telling me for years to use my creativity, energy and work ethic to start a business.
And I’m NOT too old and its NOT too late.  I’m still breathing.  I’m not trying to parallel or exceed Walt Disney’s empire.  I just want a nice farm house with a wrap around veranda on an acreage with land to grow flowers and greenery for my daughters business and a lovely barn to glorify as a wedding venue (with all the accessories).   That’s not ridiculous.  Its totally doable.  No,  I don’t have any money.  WE don’t have any money.  But we can’t let a little thing like that stop us, can we?   I watched a documentary movie on Netflix recently called “The Biggest Little Farm”.  It was SO inspirational.   Those people started from nothing and faced and conquered all kinds of obstacles.  This also isn’t about getting rich – its about making a living doing what I love and am good at.  What my family is good at.  There is room for us all in this dream.
I must not forget that my heavenly Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He also knows how to give good gifts to his children – of which, I am one. The parable of the talents keeps running through my mind over and over and over again.  I don’t want to be that sorry little servant that buried his talents in the ground and left his Master much disappointed.
So I am dreaming now.  And I am dreaming big.  I’m off to make a vision board and figure out how to write up a business plan and pray.  Dream Big.  Pray Bigger.