Welcome 2021

Welcome 2021.  I had a long list of goals and changes I was going to implement in 2020.  Who didn’t?  I actually had made a private Pinterest board with all the things I wanted to work on in 2020, complete with tutorials and ideas to keep me motivated etc. That, very soon, became redundant.  It’s not that I couldn’t have stayed the course, it was just I wasn’t sure how to concentrate on these things when the world was falling apart around me.  I totally lost my (20-20) vision and focus. 
In a million years, if someone had asked me what 2020 had in store, I never would have come up with pandemic.  I never would have come up with lockdowns and isolation.  Never.  Ever. I didn’t even know that was a thing.  I had no way of knowing that our trip to Mexico in April would be cancelled.  I had no way of knowing that I was going to get laid off of yet another job two weeks after starting.  I had no way of knowing that my whole family would be living in such close quarters for so long with no one leaving the house.  As an introvert, I need time alone to recharge and thrive.  So I found myself going squirrely as my OCD tendencies reached an all time new high.  Not good when you are living with 3 other adults. I (we) suffered financially and probably still will but the Lord has provided for our needs.
I am a person that has a hard time switching gears.  I like to know what’s coming down the pike.  I like order.  I like to ‘know’.  It provides security for me. (albeit false). When everything is in limbo…I don’t do well with that.  So when everything that I thought I had a handle on started to fly apart….it temporarily paralyzed me.  Then I have to sit myself down with an open bible and give myself a pep talk.  I need to journal and pray and find my bearings once again.  Realize what’s expedient and what’s important and what is not.
I had just reinstated myself as a Pampered Chef consultant when the pandemic hit and as luck would have it, everyone confined to home and doing their own cooking and eating in was just the shot in the arm that PC needed.  People started to buy kitchen appliances and gadgets.  Virtual parties became the norm and so I poured myself into that for a few months.  Then I hit a wall. 
I found myself  sewing face masks for people. I came late to the sourdough game but I eventually did arrive there and have been baking sourdough since May 11.  (Which reminds me the sourdough twins haven’t been fed for awhile).   I tried my hand at many other kinds of bread as well and mastered some bread recipes that have become a weekly occurrence. I gave a lot away.  I was able to pour much time into my garden this summer.  It was very rewarding as I watched it grow and flourish.  So enjoyable to just sit in the ‘safety’ of my backyard and enjoy the growth and the sun and the weather…even the rain. I binge watched Netflix.  I got hooked on Amazon.(I mean, I could get everything I needed delivered to my door without going all over town to find it)  No, I did not boycott Amazon.  Great idea Bezos.  I found many new pursuits and tackled old long forgotten ones.  Like quilting.  I didn’t even need to go out and buy fabric.  We watched amazing fireworks at a distance from others and it didn’t impede our enjoyment of them at all. They were especially spectacular (in lieu of this year’s Stampede which was cancelled). 
Although it has been a very strange, unprecedented year.  It has been a much needed one.  I, for one, needed to slow down and smell the roses or the coffee.  I realized I was chasing down unimportant and inconsequential things that helped me maintain the status quo but did nothing for my spiritual, emotional or mental growth.  We must always be growing.  There is no standing still.  We start to go backwards???  I realized I was quite side tracked and totally oblivious to it. This year availed me of a spiritual awakening.  I had all this time on my hands. Why not study and talk to God and go deep into the faith that I profess?  
It certainly was NOT the worst year of my life.  It was baffling and difficult but not the worst.  There were, in fact, many wonderful, memorable things about it.  I am nostalgic so I will remember these times for the rest of my life, even if the burden of the pandemic is lifted at some point. The calm and the extra time.  It was so nice not to be always rushing around and meeting deadlines.  Nice to not have to take care of my image, you know, in case I ran into someone I knew while I was out.  I didn’t go out much and if I did, I was wearing a mask.  There was time to read and time to just sit and listen to the little two year old girl next door sing her little heart out as she played on her own deck.  Not a care in the world.  Then there were my poppies.  Those poppies brought me the greatest joy.  They were a total surprise. The ‘me time’ walks where I lost myself in nature and forgot about the city.  I didn’t have to drive to work everyday because I didn’t have a job anymore.  So that stress was gone and I saved a lot of money on gas.   
We were able to sneak out to BC twice in August and had the best time.  We went to a COVID restricted wedding and it went well.  It was outside and everyone socially distanced and stayed with their own families.  It didn’t diminish the meaning or beauty of the wedding at all.  We bubbled ourselves up at my aunt’s cottage at Sun Peaks and kept to ourselves and it was peaceful and beautiful and total escapism. There is just something about kayaking out into the middle of the calm lake and just breathing in the fresh air, listening to fish jump all around you, surrounded by mountains.  Listening to the loons sing their hauntingly beautiful song in the moonlight.  Laying on the warm dock by day and gazing at the stars by night. 
So as I go into 2021 here’s what I know for sure:  I am here at this time, on this earth, in this pandemic ‘for such a time as this’.  It’s not a mistake that I am here at this time. So what am I going to do about it?   God knows exactly what HE is doing and He is still in control.  I do not fear giving up control of my life to others…God is in control of my life.  I am not responsible for what the government does or says or what they do or don’t do.  I am responsible for me.  I am responsible for my responses, plain and simple. I endeavor to love people and do what is in their best interests.  To be kind and gentle and patient.  I don’t always hit this mark but that is the goal.  So if wearing a mask and staying away from crowds shows love, then that is what I will do.   It doesn’t matter what is going on in the world, the Lord has my back.  He knows how to rescue the those that follow Him. He walks through the valley of the shadow of death with me.  All I need to do is trust Him.  Yes,  the pandemic has cost me greatly in several ways.  But the Lord has a plan and it’s not to harm me.  He will work out all things for my good because I love him and am called according to His purpose and that’s all I need to know.