A Heart of Gratefulness – my pursuit

I try to live in a constant state of gratitude.

Well not so much ‘try’ because it kind of just flows from my being some days.  I go outside to get in my car to drive to work And the sun is shining and my car has gas in it and I’m driving to a gift of a job. And my heart and speech are full of gratefulness for it all.

To be completely honest, when my legs are cramping in the middle of the night or my plantar fasciitis is flaring or my sleeve gets caught on a doorknob as I’m passing by or I can’t find my phone or glasses…. Gratefulness is not my first reaction.

But I do know this:  many events of the past that I cursed in the moment turned out to be for my good. And that just keeps happening. So I know this now. And eventually I end up back at gratefulness.

We all have those ‘in the moment’ frustrations. And we all are hit with affliction, perplexities, persecutions or struck downs….but we don’t have to be crushed, in despair, forsaken or destroyed. I, for one, am grateful for this promise.  That I will be afflicted but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but never forsaken and struck down but not destroyed. I’ve been feeling that second and last one a lot lately. But…. I don’t need to despair and I will not be destroyed. That’s the promise of a believers life. We can fall down seven times and get back up eight.

I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of getting back up lately.  I’m trying to discipline myself to keep getting back up. And I’m finding that she who waits upon the Lord shall renew her strength …. She will rise up on wings as eagles…. She shall run and not get weary, she shall walk and not faint.  Well I’m still working on those last two. Because very often I find myself weary and faint. But even for that I am grateful. It keeps me close to the Creator. Because believe me… I am in constant communication with him about these things. He keeps asking me if I want to get well and I keep saying… duh?  And he says well then get back up and keep going. And I am grateful that he still pursues me. Relentlessly.

It’s not that he forbids me to whine or complain to him but he does remind me it’s unnecessary.  Complaining (whining and anger) just take up valuable energy I could be using to get back up.  And to get back up after you’ve been struck down is very empowering and then …. gratefulness.