Gumption

Let’s go back to the beginning.  Not birth…not that far back.  Let’s go back to the summer she graduated from grade 12 and I took her to Europe for a month.  I created a monster.  After a week in London, a week in Paris, a week on a cruise ship along the west coast of Italy (Rome, Florence, Sicily)  and a week in Spain (Barcelona), she decided she was going to find a way to come back and live in London.  I said ‘forget it – you’ll never be able to afford to live in London’.  While she was hatching her London plot she managed to go to New Zealand for three months and talked my mom into going to Israel, Jordan and Egypt with her. It didn’t take that much convincing as my mom had always dreamt of going to the Holy Land. Apparently while they were in Egypt my mom was offered an outrageous amount of camels for Lexie.  I told mom if you don’t bring that girl home….don’t bother coming back.  While Andrew, her brother said….’wait a minute…let’s not be so hasty”.

That little gumpster found a YWAM base in London, did a little fundraising (mostly relatives) and was on her way. She did three tours of duty (6 months each) before we dragged her home because she was out of money and in ill health.  She managed to get to Sweden, Spain and Argentina before the bed bugs got the best of her.

And so it has gone.  She took a job on a lark, because she liked the picture of the store they put in the advertisement.  She said….I want to work there.  It’s pretty.  So she applied for an office job and they hired her on the spot and realized how creative she was with the flowers and made her a designer instead.   Then she decided she wanted to start her own floral business so she started making connections and getting jobs and freelancing with other designers and decided she wanted to design flowers in London.  She heard about a youth work visa for London she would get if she applied before her 30th birthday and reached out to several florists there, had ZOOM interviews and off she went to LONDON.  Just packed up all her stuff and took off.  Not knowing what she was getting into.  She was a wreck when she left (we all were) but the Lord took care of her every step of the way and provided great places to work, great travel opportunities, great places to live and those two years just flew by.  I was blessed to have the opportunity to go visit her last spring.  I told her….I can’t believe I’m saying this….but if I were you, I’d never come home.   In fact, I think I’ll tell Dad to send my things,  I’m staying.  There was a bakery and florist shop, both within walking distance of her place, that were looking for help.  Sign me up.

Well the way things go….I couldn’t stay because I’m married and live with my husband in Calgary and she couldn’t stay because her two year visa ran out and there was just too much red tape to unwind to stay any longer so in March of this year (2024) she returned home with 7 pieces of luggage.  Oy Vey  And now….she’s off again.  Just for a month, but still.

I so desperately have wanted to do something brave like that.  I would love to just pick up and move to another country (of my choice) and start a new life there.  But as I mentioned already,  I have relationship ties here and cannot just run away to live the exciting life. Not that moving to another country and making a life for yourself there is the only way to be brave. What would be something brave that I could do?  I’ve been wracking my brain.  I thought….well instead of driving to work one morning, I could just keep on going and drive to Vancouver . Then what?  There is a difference between brave and stupid and I would like to think that I know what that is. I could join the militia.  Too old. I could take up gymnastics.  Too fat. I could apply for a job at NASA.  Too dumb.  OK, now I’m just being silly.

After I dropped Lexie off at the airport I was wondering around a bit wracking up my parking bill.  And I thought….here I am at the airport.  Just walking around.  Pretending I’m somebody,  going somewhere (really I was just looking for a restroom).  But nonetheless….the airport feels so full of possibilities.  LOL

I guess brave could be anytime you veer out of your comfort zone.  We love our comfort zones.  Well….I do.  So brave could be taking up a walking program when you haven’t been for a couple of years. Making myself leave my comfort zone.  There are many areas where I need to leave my comfort zone.  I used to think it was laziness that kept me there.  But…maybe its fear.  Fear of failing…yet again.   Fear of succeeding…then what’s going to be expected of me?  Fear of something being a LOT of unnecessary work.  Fear of something being a LOT of necessary work.   I feel like my  life has passed me by and I’ve done nothing brave.  A line from one of my favorite movies goes like this….”

So here I am at Costco, buying toilet paper….and cucumbers. And another fern.