So it’s the New Year and I’ve been contemplating what I will do differently this year. I have to do something different. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. And I’m certainly not insane! Or am I?
I thought about quitting ironing my sheets so I would change them more often but I can’t quit ironing my sheets, I went out and bought all 100% cotton so I would have to iron them and I would feel like I’m staying at a hotel (for the first couple of nights anyway). I was thinking I should clean my bathrooms more often. Oh how I hate cleaning bathrooms. That’s how I know I definitely do NOT need a larger house even though I lust after gorgeous mansions in better neighborhoods. But It would be filthy. So scrap that. I should quit taking my iphone to the bathroom. I spend far too much time there. TMI however the amount of people I KNOW who have dropped their phones in the toilet tells me this is more common than people would like to let on. I should quit putting my iphone within arms reach of my bed too. I’ve got to break that addiction. I should quit buying overpriced drinks at my favorite coffee shop. Why is it my favorite coffee shop anyway? I don’t even drink coffee. I need to quit procrastinating with chores. When I actually do them, I’m usually finished quicker than I anticipated and there is such a sense of satisfaction. I blame it on my low level ADD (no H because I am not in the hyper category)…sometimes I wonder if it actually is higher than low level. Self diagnosis from reading a ton of books on the subject. I don’t drive in the dark anymore….I don’t think I am going to change that. I just really don’t like driving in the dark. I get lost sometimes. No I don’t have alzheimers but I DO have brain damage. Hopefully they are not exactly the same thing. I also don’t care to drive in the snow or the rain or when the suns shining. I need a chauffer. I should stop subconsciously doing dishes. I go to the kitchen for a drink and I start doing dishes and I don’t even know I’m doing them. My kids say….we are planning on doing those when we are finished eating. I should quit prying the plates out of their hands while they are scoopng their last bites. I should quit vacuuming so much. The vacuum cleaner terrorizes the dog. But I have black rugs and dark hardwood and cannot stand to see the crumbs and threads and so I vacuum. (Not the same as cleaning the house). Vacuuming is an obsession. I have a visual OCD. Things need to look neat at all times – not necessarily clean. There is a difference. There are days my home looks nice and tidy – everything in its place – but it could be condemned as a health hazard in reality. I really need to quit buying T-towels and puzzles and cookbooks. And coffee mugs. Did I mention I don’t even drink coffee? I need to stop saving every birthday, greeting, christmas and anniversary card anyone in the house has ever received? What’s that all about? I did not buy any after Christmas ‘on sale Christmas decorations’ this year as I didn’t use half of what I already have. In fact, a week before Christmas I sent my husband to goodwill with 2 or 3 bins of Christmas stuff I never need to use again. Not to get too proud of myself….I have a long way to go. I should quit coming home from work and plopping myself in my favorite vegetative state chair because once I do that…I may as well go to bed…nothings getting done that night. Very often I will pull into the garage and have a nap in the car….at least I have to get out of the car and into the house so that breaks my comatose state and I can go on to do things. AND I should stop binge watching Netflix and quit being bored. It’s a state of mind. I have oodles of interesting and productive things to do. Oh my gosh….Pinterest. Lexie came home from London when she was in WYAM a million years ago and said “mom, I’ve found a great new way for you to waste time”. She wasn’t wrong. I blame her.
Some things I should do. I should finish knitting my sweater ( I took up knitting last year) . I only have half a sleeve to go. And then start the next sweater which I already bought the wool for. I should finish my Cathedral windows quilt and hang it on the wall. I should finish all my quilts and do something gratuitous with them. I should spend more time reading. More time reading means more inspiration for writing and I DO need to get my book written while I still have the brain power. I AM going to purge AGAIN. Purging is my life. The more stuff you own the more time to spend purging, cleaning, organizing, stashing – it’s stressful. I look at all these craft supplies and fabric and while it used to get me excited and inspired…now I just get tired looking at them. I really do want to simplify. I need to get rid of clothes. I don’t buy clothes because I need them or the old ones wore out. I buy them because I think “This will make me look cool”. But really…do they? They just make me look like an old lady pretending to be Taylor Swift so that has to stop. I only have so many places to go to wear clothes because when I’m at home I am usually wearing PJ’s or hoodies and leggings. I don’t have an office job anymore so ….get with the program. I save old clothes because I think I will remodel them. Where do I think I am going to wear them….to the basement to binge watch Netflix? And of course I have a full range of sizes because my weight…. errr… fluctuates. Then there is my walking pad that I received as a Christmas gift. Got to get on a regular walking program to keep myself alive. I call it “walk for life”. I should and must go off sugar. Unfortunately there’s no Betty Ford clinic for that. But seriously….. how hard could it be? Rolling on the floor laughing. I’ve always wanted to read the Bible in a year…..I mean just bite the bullet already and do it. That could be transformative. Even if it takes me two years to read the Bible in a year… I should do it. It’s not going to be harmful.
I don’t call these ‘resolutions’ because that sounds like a recipe for failure. I like to think of them as wise suggestions. Self care. Free therapy.
And she pondered all these things in her heart.
The Red Plaid Apron 