How old do you think I am? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

I guess since I do my own hair no one actually is certain of my real age. (well just the fact that I even know of this commercial sort of gives it away ). I could lie about it but why? I am actually quite proud of the fact that I made it this far, only by the grace of God. I have no qualms about reaching the ripe and blessed age of 60 grand years. So many others do not get the privilege to celebrate this milestone and here I am, relatively healthy and unscathed, over blessed with my experiences and memories, on the brink of this birthday. Turning 60 means I have completed 60 years not that I’ll start living in my 60th year. I’ve been living in my 60th year for over 10 months now and it’s been….OK. Well if ok ignores the development of hammer toes, excruciating leg cramps, grey roots, receding gums, gravitational pull on my skin and extra girth, memory failure….need I go on? My peers will understand and relate.

My goal has always been to age gracefully. My doctor recommended I read a book that outlined how to have a 25 year old body when your 90. Seriously? Why would I need a 25 year old body when I’m 90? This doesn’t even make sense. Eventually I will let my grey hair be my glory. My wrinkles a sign of wisdom and experience. My extra girth will be insulation against illness and a natural botox. As long as I am healthy, looking like a supermodel after 60 is unrealistic and unnecessary. Let’s not forget that I have never, at any age, resembled a supermodel. I will do the exercise and eat the whole foods. Get the correct amount of sleep and manage my stress and leave the rest to God. Self absorption is not part of my plan although I do tend to gravitate that way in moments of weakness and apathy. Lord help me.

60 is the new 40. At least that’s what I keep hearing. I remember my 40th birthday vividly (possibly because I have been watching videos of it recently). I do not want to go back there. I have no incling whatsoever to relive the past. Neither the good nor the bad and certainly not the ugly. I have tried to live in all the moments and not wish them away (although there have been times). My hardships and trials have taught me that there is always something to be gained. If you’re going through hell, keep going. Nothing stays the same forever. Not the good and not the bad. If you are walking through a summer season embrace it with gratitude and learn the lessons in that season too.

I’ve experienced many of the most memorable and precious moments I will ever have in my life during these past 20 years but I have also endured some of the most painful hardships of my entire life as well. I am overjoyed to report that I have survived it all. I have survived the moments when I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me and I have survived emotional open heart surgery with no anesthetic. I have spent days and nights with fear as my constant companion.

On the other hand, I have travelled to places I never thought I would. I have met people that have changed my life. I am surrounded by a home team. I have people I (we) can call in the middle of the night and they are there for us, no questions asked. I have witnessed my children grow into these amazing adults that we love spending time with. We’ve celebrated birthdays, graduations and other significant events with them. They’ve gone back and forth from living at home to not living at home to living at home again. Talk about a sentimental journey. And… I have been married to the same sweet man for nearly 36 years. That has been an enormous gift.   I have not had to walk this journey on earth alone and I’m certain at this juncture that we will grow old graciously together… until death us do part. My best place is wherever mike and the kids are.

I eat off the pretty plates and drink out of the precious glasses. I overdress in the luxurious clothes and the dressy shoes because my days are numbered and every day is a special occasion. What am I saving these for? I use any ocassion for a party. Life is a celebration every day. I give the gifts and spoil the loved ones while I can. If a friend wants to meet for coffee or lunch – I’ll leave the dirty dishes and uncleaned bathrooms or unbought groceries and go. I may never capture these moments in time again and I don’t want to regret being rigid with my parameters and priorities. I am quick to forgive and even quicker to ask forgiveness and admit blame. I don’t want my remaining life to be clouded by regret and distance from people I love and need.

In the past 20 years we have purchased (and had built) a brand new home. We’ve been here over 7 years and it feels like we just moved in last month. After 17 years at our previous address the move was nothing short of a nightmare and a miracle.  We thought our friends were going to call the ‘clean sweep’ show and enlist us. Thankfully Oprah is off the air. My plan is to be too old to lift or sort anything by the time of our next move. Half of this stuff belongs to the kids anyway.

I’ve had new career experiences and on the job training for tasks I never thought I was capable of. My past two positions have suffered unexpected demises but I know that I know that I know that’s Gods plans are not to harm me but to prosper me and give me a future and a hope. So I press on. At 60 I’m sure I still have another 10 years of work left in me. I may even finally start my own business or do something creative. Fear has held me back for 60 years. I’ve noticed the Bible doesn’t speak of retirement. People worked until they died and I don’t necessarily need a retirement when I have eternity in heaven to look forward to. My experience on this earth is not my last kick at the cat. Although this brief sabbatical is teaching me what all the retirement hullabaloo is about. It’s nice to relax and not live by the ticking of the clock?

In the past 20 years my relationship with my Heavenly Father has grown into something so much more comfortable and assured than ever before. I have finally learned who I am in Him and have experienced His undying faithfulness even when my faith has wavered. He has always been there for me. He has never left my side and I know now that He never will. His Word has finally changed my life. It’s no longer obligation or onerous or detached from my life experience. His Word is so meshed with my life experience now that I cannot tell where I end and He begins.

And although I am witnessing the world gone mad I still see Gods glorious handiwork almost every single day. A lot of the fear is gone or dissipating and I’m hoping there is a new maturity emerging. It only took 60 years. I’m still human and I still make horrendous mistakes and I still confront many of the same issues I’ve been challenged by for years but I feel more at peace with the outcome.

So… 60… bring it on!

Some of my favorite moments are days our family has spent over the years at my husband’s business partner and friends cottage a mere 90 minutes from our home in the city. To be honest, as a business partner we’d probably have not had the opportunity to use this lovely venue but these generous folks have offered it to us on many occasions as friends.

We’ve vacationed there when our kids were young and we’ve retreated there since our kids have become adults. We do our utmost to leave it in exactly the same condition we found it, if not better. It’s our way of showing our unending gratitude to use this quaint New England style cottage. It’s a waterfront property so our first view in the morning is the sun rising over the lake and our last view at night, of course, is the sun setting and the moon rising over the trees. When the moon is in the seventh house and Mercury aligns with Mars, it casts a rippling ray of light across the water and it’s mesmerizing.

One of my favorite aspects of the cottage is the seaside and nautical decor inside. Right out of Coastal Living. Everything is yellow and blue. Lighthouse pictures flank the front door as you walk out onto the veranda that borders the house on two sides. A favorite spot to drink your morning coffee or sip your evening glass of wine nestled on one of the adirondack chairs available. The charming interior is enhanced with all things seaside.. seashells, sailboats pictures, old classic books, throw cushions. We’ve been blessed to spend time at this cottage in all seasons. Sinking into huge, soft leather couches and breathing a deep sigh of relaxation in front of the stone fireplace is the beginning of a relaxing retreat. There’s even a heart shaped stone imbedded in the stone work coupled with a poignant painting of children sitting on a pier dangling their feet over the edge. This picture was representative of the owners children and cousins when they were young and more recently, it represents the grandchildren that now frequent this family getaway.

Another favorite thing I do at the cottage is to lie in bed at night beside my snoring husband (indicative of a deep sleep) and watch the flickering lights across the water from the resort town on the far end of the lake. My pillow is even with the lower edge of the window for a comfortable and lingering view. I feel so far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I pretend I’m in the Hamptons.

As a family we have painted pictures at the cottage, played games, watched every genre of movie, baked, sewn quilts, read books, swung in the hammocks, suntanned on the dock, taken walks and jogs, found furniture in the ditch (dragged it home and refurbished it), gone to the farmers market, drove into the resort town for ice cream and groceries, ran into and visited with other friends that also have cottages in the area, eaten well and slept deeply.

We have so many memories at this familiar spot that sometimes we forget that it doesn’t belong to us. We’ve had the privilege and pleasure of being there at Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and of course, summer. We have been so blessed to have friends that have vacation homes and have invited us to use them as well. SO BLESSED.

My aunt has a gorgeous peaceful cottage (we actually call it a lodge) on a small lake just down the road from popular ski resort in B.C. We have started a tradition of spending 5 or 6 days surrounding the August long weekend there. She is a very young, active and athletic 65 year old so Mike keeps her busy racing her down the highway on mountain bikes, canoeing all over the lake, chopping and piling wood, paddle boarding and planting things allowing me to couch potatoe myself on the dock surrounded by cold drinks, snacks, magazines and music and pretend I’m in the swiss alps. We do puzzles at the lodge and eat outside daily while talking to Neville, her pet squirrel, who lives in the trees hanging over the veranda. We occasionally make a run into town for Costco and Starbucks. One of my favorite pastimes at the lodge is to go down to edge of the dock in my pyjamas in the morning and watch the mallard ducks  swim and surface while listening to herons argue. The water is as clear and still as glass and I journal and take pictures. Another wonderful tradition on this secluded lake is the party boat phenomenon. These are actually motorized floating docks with chairs and music and coolers aboard so we can cruise the lake for a few hours at night with wine glass in hand and take in the sunset, stillness and lights across the water. I love being out in the middle of the lake in the kayak surrounded by mountains and nature. Although I’m not especially fond of the poison ivy I contracted the past two years. No more walks in the woods for this gal. Sitting on the veranda watching the moon rise over the mountains while listening to the cry of the loons is also a peaceful, relaxing experience.

We have dear friends that owned a vacation rental mansion on the Big Island of Hawaii and have graciously hosted us four times before recently selling it at Christmas (that’s another story for another day). More recently my mind flashes back to picking sweet juicy oranges off a tree in the back yard of another friends second home in Phoenix on the golf course. We’ve also had the benefit of glorious weekends on the lake with friends in Kelowna and memory making days at a friends ranch and sprawling ranch home not far from the city.

But my favorite place to be is on or near a huge body of water. There is something so peaceful and soothing about gazing at the ripples or waves. Laying in bed listening to waves beat the shore in Kona reinforces the message ‘you are on vacation’ because this is an impossibility at home in the city.

It would be a dream come true, a bucket list item,  if we ever had the opportunity to own a vacation home and use it to indulge all these generous and dear folks who have been so kind to us over the years. They have allowed us to gather cherished and treasured memories to last a lifetime.

I can totally relate to Paul when he said “For I do not understand my own actions. For I  do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I  delight in the law of God, in my inner being,  but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.”