Author: geriraedean
More later.
Lent Loser
Well… the most important event of the Christian calendar is nearly upon us. Easter. And today is the final day of LENT for 2017. So I reflect on my Lent resolutions. Let me back up a bit for those of you unfamiliar with the concept of LENT.
Lent takes place every year in the 40 days leading up to Easter, and is treated as a period of reflection and a time for fasting from food and festivities. It symbolizes the days which lead up to Jesus’ crucifixion and subsequent resurrection, when Christ spent 40 days and nights alone in the Desert being tempted by Satan. According to the Bible, he was tempted constantly during this time, but each time he managed to overcome his temptations. Millions of Christians have been celebrating Lent – a time of year that many non-believers may associate with fasting or abstinence. But there is a lot more to the religious observance than giving up something, as it is regarded as a period of spiritual preparation to grow closer to God as we approach Easter. People follow Jesus’ example and give up vices, which can be things such as chocolate, in an attempt to grow closer to God, to show they have self-restraint, or to live a healthier life.
I was enthusiastic to attend our Ash Wednesday service because I had some specific things I wanted to lay down at the cross and gain some mastery over. This was going to be my time. Its so easy to get so caught up in the world (even though this world is not our home – for those of us that have given ourselves over to Him). I mean we live here in the world, together with all the people, regardless of race or religious or academia or financial status or beauty or fame or geographic location. We are faced with the same temptations and trials as everyone There is no ‘them’ and ‘us’. We are all in this together (by ourselves sometimes). This year on Ash Wednesday, our spiritual leader gave us each a stone and on this stone we were to write what we wanted to focus on, give up, conquer or deal with. Plot spoiler: I wrote ‘false Gods’ on mine. We bring them back to church tomorrow (Good Friday) and lay them at the cross.
Well I knew I couldn’t fit all my false gods onto that tiny little stone so I just wrote ‘false gods’. I probably don’t need to tell you what a huge undertaking that would be. I am sure God probably just chuckled as I wrote scribbled those words on my stone. So I decided I would start by abstaining from sugar and Facebook and spend more time reading the Word and focusing on God. I didn’t really think I had bitten off more than I could chew. Of course, I didn’t realize that I was actually addicted to sugar and that sugar is more addictive than cocaine. I didn’t have 12 weeks to enroll at the Betty Ford clinic. I was just going to do this for 6 weeks – I talked the rest of my family into doing the sugar fast as well. (you’ll have to ask them how they fared). I did not do so well. I’ve been telling myself for many years that salt is my thing. Savory is always my top choice. But who am I kidding? …sugar has become my top choice (ever since the onset of menopause and chocolate). SOOOO…..Everyday of Lent I started over and every day by noon I had failed. OK…never mind that. Lets talk about Facebook. I deleted the Facebook app from my phone and my iPad that evening so it wouldn’t be so easy to check it. Of course, my Instagram and my Blog are attached to Facebook so it probably looked to everyone in Facebook land that I was still active. I had done some research on Lent in previous years and I knew that Sundays were not included in the Lent fast. Sundays were days of rest so whatever you are abstaining from you can indulge on Sunday’s. Sort of like having a free day when your on a diet. Everyone knows that’s nonsense. Its a recipe for failure. SO the first Sunday (Im talking only 4 days into Lent) I resurrected my Facebook app to catch up. Seriously nothing new BUT I forgot to remove it again come Monday. Anyways, as addictions go I look at my Facebook app even if there isn’t a little red number summoning me. I grab for my phone every 5 minutes for absolutely no reason. Its like a tick or something – you don’t even realize you are doing it. Ok…forget Facebook. How was time ‘In the Word’ going? Once again, as a creature of habit, I had found over the years that my best place for reading the Word and talking to God was on my elliptical in the basement (I had made it the centerpiece of my War Room). I was getting up to go workout at the office gym on a few days but I couldn’t really do war room stuff in the office gym. I was easily able to get up at 4:30 and get to the gym by 5:30 but on days when all I had to do was make it to the basement…somehow that just wasn’t happening. Staying up too late or just the morning rush. I do have a habit of talking to God on my drive in to work but that isn’t really the ‘focus’ I had in mind. So the days of Lent were rushing by at warp speed just as all the days do these days. And before you know it it was March 27th – that fateful day when I was told I would be spending my days at home for the temporary future. WOw…. I couldn’t even use work as an excuse anymore. However, I decided at that moment – I think I will give up my job for Lent. Sure I know my hand was forced. At first it was just a joke I had going on with myself. I am giving up my job for Lent. I crack myself up. Giving up my job, in my heart, was turning out to really be a thing. I needed to give up my job. It was one of my false gods and I didn`t even know it. Because it was where I found my security. I mean, I know God gifted me with that job when I desperately needed it but it was as if I had said, Thanks God, I’ll take it from here. I was making my job happen. As long as I showed up everyday and did what was asked of me, I collected a regular paycheque and benefits and didn’t think twice about buying groceries or going to movies or stopping at Starbucks or purchasing books and stopping in at ZARA just to check it out. (another addiction). But now I had all this time to reevaluate my priorities of time and finances and found myself sadly self sufficient, addicted and misfocused. How did I end up here? Maybe I shouldn’t have written ‘false gods’ on my stone.
I can totally relate to Paul when he said “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.”
So as I reflect on my own Lent experience I sort of feel like a Lent Loser. I seriously failed Lent. How does that even happen? Is that even a thing? Well thank God (and I am not taking the Lord’s name in vain) – I actually DO mean ‘thank God’ that He is a Loser Lover. God looks at the heart while man looks at the outward appearance. I was looking at my own outward appearance and not making the grade. I was judging myself. But the Lord knows my heart. I don’t have to attend church regularly on Sundays. I don’t have to attend a home group on a weekly basis. I don’t have to read the Word if I don’t want to and I don’t even have to pray if I don’t want to. I don’t have to love my neighbor or be kind to others or help the needy. I don’t have to forgive people that wrong me and I don’t have to ask forgiveness either but I do all these things because that is my choice. I try to make Lent a learning and growing experience because that is my heart. In my heart of hearts – my soul – I want to serve the Lord. The title “Lord” implies that He is in control of my life and that I willingly have given up that control. And I am endeavoring to do this. And no matter how many times I stumble, He gives me the courage and desire to get up again and keep going because I know that I can do ALL things through Christ.
We all stumble in many ways but the Lord does not give up on us. I know that He sees in my heart just the want to please Him and offer up some kind of sacrifice for all that He has done for me. My heart is that sacrifice. And Lent is just an arbitrary period of time to cause us to reflect on Christ’s sacrifice for us and I have truly done that. As I realize my own pitiful failure at offering up a sacrifice after He has offered up the ultimate sacrifice for me it just impressed on me, all over again, how much I need Him. I am totally aware of my need of a Savior and overfilled with gratitude that He already paid the cost of my Lent failure and I’m hoping this all adds up to spiritual growth (which was what I was after in the first place).
My Super Hero
I saw him go in and close the door. I wondered what he was doing in there. A couple of minutes later he emerges from his telephone booth in his miracle working hero outfit. Very often I don’t see him go in or come out, I just find him using his powers for good rather than evil. There is no cape or tights – more like dirty holey blue jeans and a ratty shirt. No swooning involved. To complete the outfit he also dons his work gloves and his old hikers then quietly unobtrusively sets about to save our world – well at least our cars, our home, our yard, and our kids. His telephone booth is, in fact, the deep freeze/furnace room. All I know is when he emerges in this outfit there is going to be some serious super hero activities taking place.
He saved us from the skunk that took up residence under our shed, even guarding the back yard in the wee hours of the morning. Pepe le Pew is history. Once he replaced a motor in Andrew’s car – how did he know how to do that? After hours and hours of basically living (and eating) in the garage into the wee hours of the morning I heard that motor start up and the car being driven down the back alley. Houston – we have lift off. Another time he built us a deck and backyard all with supplies he found on kijiji. It was, and still is, amazing. Even the neighbors stood by agog. On another occasion he found out how to take the oven door apart and clean the glass from the inside and managed to put it back together again with no spare parts leftover. Who attempts that?
One Christmas he donned his winter hero suit and drove the 12 hours to Vancouver on a snowy Saturday to pick up our adult children, pack them up (one was moving back home) and drove them safely back through a sketchy storm on the Coquihalla the very next day so they could be home for Christmas. Our fridge was making a strange sound – rather like we were living on the YYC tarmack where airplanes take off every 10 minutes or so. He took that 7 year old fridge apart and figured out the problem and fixed it. Again, no parts leftover. He rotates and changes our tires and changes the oil on all 4 cars. He keeps them running. He fixes the brakes and the broken fenders. He washes them and gets us the best deals on insurance. He orders part from China and pays pennies for them with free shipping. I casually mentioned I wanted to remodel our kitchen island and by the end of that month I had a new island – plumbing and electrical all done by my own personal super hero. He stopped and changed a tire for a young girl on highway 22X last weekend. He didn’t have time to come home and get his superhero outfit but I am sure that it looked like he was wearing it to that lost 18 year old girl. He actually helps little old ladies cross the street.
He has acquired very McIver-like skills over the years. Our garage door wasn’t opening and my car was trapped inside. He fashioned a contraption out of cardboard, some tin foil and a drinking straw and the dang door is working great. My mom keeps asking what that piece of garbage hanging from the garage roof is and I keep telling her – its what keeps our garage door working. The stone tiles were beginning to crack off our fireplace. He found a unique, easy and inexpensive way to fix that too and it’s virtually invisible. I was suffering from bursitis a few years ago and couldn’t sit or lay on my hip so I started going to his office for treatments (he’s actually a chiropractor by trade) and the pain went away and hasn’t come back since. He buys items on kijiji, at Value Village or Cash converters and then turns around and sells them on Kijiji and makes money. He is the quintessential Proverbs 31 husband. Our friends think he is a Doctor but really he makes most of his living as a junk curber. He even babysat our daughters’ rose bushes over the winter – making them warm nests so they wouldn’t freeze (while she lived in Vancouver for a term) and they blossomed profusely the next summer.
He designed and built the most amazing shed in our backyard when we moved into our new home 7 years ago. We call it the Barn because well…it looks like a barn. He used the old siding off of our new house. The siding the insurance company was going to toss after they replaced the North side of the house after a summer of hail storms. He used the deck he tore down (the one the builders put in) as a floor for the shed (because he had bought a composite deck off of kijiji). He used an old vintage window that I had had laying around for years. He even made little wooden flower planters on the side, 1/2 way up for me to plant petunias and geraniums. A lot of my friends and acquaintances gush over my creativity. The fact is, my super hero husband is just as creative only in different ways.
How does he do all these things? How does he even know how? What is his motivation? Inquiring minds want to know. He’s a Saskatchewan farm boy. Need I say more? Im buying that man a cape. He’d probably look pretty cute in tights too (but you’ll never know).
Redundant
One very weird thing about not working is being here when my husband and daughter leave for work. Usually I was the first one to open the garage door in the wee hours of the morning while the house was dark and everyone was still asleep but now, Im standing here in my housecoat waving goodbye to them and encouraging them to have a great day. I walk back into the kitchen and wonder “What now?”
I guess I had better back track. I have become redundant. Redundant – no longer useful, unnecessary, superfluous, inessential, needless…shall I go on? Redundancy – not really a nice word when it is referring to your occupational status. Monday morning started off as any other Monday morning – chit chat at the coffee machine while I found a niche for my lunch in the fridge, a few emails sent regarding issues that crossed my mind over the weekend, heating up my tea in the 2nd floor lunchroom, straightening up the large boardroom across from my workspace etc. Then I got the call. From the receptionist. “Geri can you come down here please”. I knew the procedure too well, having witnessed it several times the previous week and many times the previous year. I knew someone was probably standing over her listening to her call so I just asked her to say “yes” or “no” to my question. “Should I bring all my stuff?” and she said yes. Well I started to tremble and shake as I ran to the fridge to retrieve my lunch. I grabbed my purse, my day tote, my lunch, coat and Starbucks and headed down, knowing exactly what lay waiting for me on the main floor. This was actually happening to me this time. It was very surreal. But lets be honest….it was no surprise. My heart went out to the superior that had to bear the bad news. I wanted to pat him on the back and tell him “Its OK. I understand.”. Once my rights were read to me the gal from the outplacement agency came in and asked if I was OK and did I need help getting to my car. I affirmed that I was perfectly fine and I could easily make it my car and drive home (although home is the last place I wanted to go). In reality, she probably just wanted to witness me get into my car and drive out of the parking lot while she breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn’t going to blow the place up. (I guess those things do happen). It doesn’t really matter if you knew it was coming and it doesn’t really matter if you know you will be fine – eventually. This experience drives a stake into your gut that you cannot explain.
I mean, I loved that job. That’s my problem. I love work! I just end up loving the people and loving the environment and loving how blessed I was to have been a part of that operation for 3 1/2 years. I looked forward to arriving at work. Looked forward to working out in the company gym at 5:30am. I was a fire marshall, on the Social committee, trained to cover reception which enabled me to know at lot more of the people working at our company than if I had been confined to the 3rd floor. I shopped for kids Christmas gifts for the kids Christmas party two years. Baking for the fund raising bake sales…. It was a very enjoyable work environment and a totally positive experience. Maybe that is my problem. I love work too much and I end up loving the people and making friends with them. I have to remind myself it’s not personal, its business.
We probably spend more time with our colleagues than we do with our family most of the time. These people were my family and this place was my home. So its not really about the money even though that is still a necessity for me…God will provide. I trust him. But its about the meaning and the purpose of being out there doing something bigger than yourself. Having my own little mission field. So I am grieving. I had myself a good cry about it yesterday and now I can move on.
I actually didn’t realize there was a grieving process involved in leaving a job that you loved until I had to leave my last job because the owner retired and shut down the company. As a result of that job ending, I found myself at an interview at a placement agency where she asked me many pertinent questions which I thought I answered with wisdom and maturity and refinement but then she asked me what my idea of the perfect job would be ? And I said “well basically my last job was pretty perfect” and I started to describe it to her and next thing I knew I was sobbing. I mean seriously sobbing. I was as surprised as she was. I scurried out of there knowing I would never hear from her again…and I never did.
Well my first day unemployed this week was quite amazing really. My daughter and I rose very early and went to hang out at Starbucks. It was her idea – I think she knew I would need something to wake up to today. We have always wanted to linger when we picked up our beverages on our way to work – linger to listen to Ella, Frank or Nat but no, we had to get out there and battle the traffic and the elements and earn our livelihood. So off we went. Living up to our responsibilities. Lexie has Tuesdays off so we were able to indulge ourselves in this fantasy today. We had purposed to go to the 10:00 Spin and Yin class but were enjoying ourselves too much so we decided on the Spin and Flow class at noon instead and snuck off to Winners to pass the time. You should go. We knew we should never set foot in a place like that when we are trying to be frugal and are already overindulged but we succumbed to the call and tried on all kinds of shoes and well…shoes. Thankfully it was time to leave for Spin before we could do too much damage. I’d forgotten the lure of Spin classes at a facility like Hot Shop where they turn the lights down and music up and and you can close your eyes and spin your brains out (or your butt off). This was followed up by a Yoga class in a sweltering room. I could feel the toxins leaving my body. Just laying on the floor in “Happy Baby” pose letting all the pent up stress out. It was amazing. On the drive back home we discussed and drooled over the meal salad we were going to make. It was nutritious and filling, colorful and tasty.
The following day I arose and worked out and showered, redecorated the house, made 3 pies for for a Silent Auction winner. I read for a bit by the fire (don’t’ cry for me Argentina) and then we were headed out for our home group in the evening.
Today…well as providence would have it I had applied for an EI number a couple of weeks ago on advice from our benefits provider so I could calculate my CPP benefit and plan for my retirement and it arrived in the mail the Monday I was let go. Very interesting. Anyhow, its got my maiden name on it and so I have to go to a government office and have it changed. My first reaction was ‘what a pain in the butt’ but now I’m thinking – I have somewhere to go and something to do. I’ll pretend its work.
Don’t get me wrong…its not like I don’t have a bazillion things crying out for my attention at home. And a gazillion ideas I have wanted to create and work on but I never had time previously. But it will take awhile for me to realize its OK to just get up and do those things and create my own agenda for the day. Im hoping to be on a steep learning curve here and That I’ll be managing quite famously by next week. Unrealistic? We’ll see. Of course I had to cancel my appointment with the Naturopath for tomorrow because my benefits are over. Ce la vie. Life goes on! This isn’t the end of the world.
This could be the beginning of something much more beautiful. Much more me. Much more destined. I am sure I will do work that I’m compensated for again but in the meantime I will enjoy this little reprieve and keep in mind that the Lord will provide what’s needed. I am open to His agenda this time around and trying not to forge ahead with my own. It’s the unknown and instead of being scary its actually kind of exciting. Its always exciting to watch God work His plan if we will only be still enough to ….be still…. and trust Him. (I’m really not sure how people that don’t have the Lord in their life navigate life experiences like these). But I am grateful that I know the creator of the Universe personally. The one with all power and wisdom, the one that sees the future and is there before I even get there. He’s my friend.
OK…off to the Service Canada office.
DRAMA at 10,000 FT!
OK…details…so we were still on the ground….I cannot believe this day. Its a good thing I am strong emotionally or I would have expired by now. (This is an older story that I stumbled upon and I thought I would post it again).
Last night was Lexie and my last night together before her second 5 – 6 month stint overseas. I sewed her a dress, mended her leggings while she packed and downloaded Christmas music onto her laptop (for future enjoyment). Then we decided to sleep together in her bed beneath the twinkle lights framing her Eiffel Tower picture and propped ourselves up with pillows and proceeded to show each other amazing things on Pinterest. We were watching White Christmas on Lexie’s laptop propped up on a chair at our feet and to this we fell asleep. Mother and Daughter. It reminded of the nights I spent with her in my arms at the hospital almost 21 years ago…just holding her and rocking her and basking in her amazing little girl glow. I could not wait to take her home and watch her grow up and see what she was going to turn into or who she was going to turn into…I was very impatient when I should have been enjoying every second of that miraculous mysterious babyhood stage. Anyway….I digress.
We awoke this morning in time to get ready and go pick up Grandmama at 10:00 for one last lingering visit at Starbucks. We were actually on time and we had exactly one hour to spend at Starbucks. Wonderful Grandma gave Lexie some sacrificial (I am sure) money for her trip and Lexie decided she wanted to deposit it in the bank as it was Canadian and she didn’t want to be carrying around that much money SO….we stopped at Lexie’s bank to deposit it, just before we stopped at my office to get a color photocopy of Lexie’s new passport and we were right on time to pick up Mike (her dad) from downtown and we arrived at the airport at 11:50…our plan was 12:00. So we are good…..We all jump out of Lexie’s truck (she wanted to drive it one last time as we are selling it now) and opened up the back to get Lexie’s luggage.
Major production….with Thomas Cook Airlines….you are only allowed one carry on (no purses or laptops) that weighs 11lbs and one piece of checked in luggage at 44lbs. Well anyone that knows Lexie at all knows that a fashionista of her calibre requires more than 44lbs of clothing, boots, shoes, purses, coats, sweaters, scarves, books, electronic equipment, Christmas decorations if she is staying anywhere longer than a week. Conundrum. How are we (how did I get involved in this?..oh, yes, the mother thing)…going to make this work? When Lexie was finished packing there was quite a pile of discards on the floor that she longingly eyed but could not fit and her plan was to fill her carry-on with 11lbs of stuff and I carried her purse with the rest of the stuff she had to have but could not fit…in case she was able to get through with it all. Not to mention when we gathered around the back of the truck Lexie proceeded to add to her dress, leggings and cardigan (that she was already wearing) …a tube skirt, a pair of over the knee boots, a Lululemon sweat jacket, a jean jacket over top of that, a long black wooly tube scarf and her expensive camera around her neck (She would say it was jewelry)….So off we toddle into the terminal with the Michelin Woman. If you can’t pack it…wear it.
Lexie and her dad proceed through the check out…her bag was .3lbs over…they let it go and they did not even weigh her carry on (just asked to see it) and Lexie asked if she could have a purse and they said yes. SO….she stuffed her expensive camera into her suitcase before putting it on the belt (not sure that was the best idea but anyhoo)…and then proceeded to rearrange her carry on and purse so it looked like a carry on and a normal purse and then tried to walk with it all as if it weighed nothing. (I mean her purse had a sweater, jeans, boots, a coat, a thick book, Christmas lights and make up in it)….I can’t remember what was in the carry on (because in Airport lingo…”I did not pack it myself”).
Lexie was feeling pretty smug that she made all of this work and we still had time for Subway. So we ate and joked and took pictures until it was time to let her go through security. We held her and hugged her and kissed her and soaked her with our tears and let her proceed into the security maze. She texted me after they strip searched her (just kidding) and said “Piece of cake”…when we could no longer see her – Dad, Grandma and I dragged our heels back to the truck. We had decided to go to Costco before going home (1/2 way between airport and home)…we were out of gas so Mike pulled up to get gas and while he was filling the truck…I got a text from Lexie. “Mom…is my money card case in the car?”…..I’m like “What? You mean you don’t have it?”….No she can’t find it. So I look around and finally see a little flash of hot pink trim and see it…so I text back…yes its here. It is 2:06 and her plane is leaving at 2:30 and this case contains her credit card, her bank card, her drivers license and all her means of paying for anything. She has no British pounds on her and she is going to need to pay for a train from Gatwick airport to the YWAM base and now she has no money and no way of accessing her bank account…panic. So I tell her to go to the boarding desk…butt in- this in an emergency and find out if they will wait if we drive back with it. So Lexie calls me right back and says the Flight attendant said if the plane is still on the ground when we get there…call him and he will run to security to meet dad and get the case and bring it back to the plane. Luckily we had already filled with gas because we drove back on fumes and that would have wasted precious time. So Mike blasted back onto Deerfoot and gunned it (as much as you can on the Deerfoot)….and we pulled up outside the airport terminal at precisely 2:15. We thought no problem….planes NEVER leave on time. So Mike leaves us babysitting the still running truck and runs to security…I phone Lexie and tell her he’s on his way and she is supposed to call the Flight attendant and he will run to security to meet Mike. Meanwhile, Mom and I are in the car and I reparked it in a better spot…just happens to be facing the tarmack and I say to Mom…”Oh look…there is Lexie’s plane (Thomas Cooke) and its still on the ground…great! Just at that moment my phone rings and I hear Lexie’s voice and as she is telling me…sobbing…”.its not going to work”….I say “I know…I am looking at your plane right now and it is backing away from the gate”….as I listened to Lexie cry and my heart breaking for her I watched the Thomas Cooke plane taxi down the runway…..I felt like I was part of some movie…the plane backed away from the gate at precisely 2:22…since when do planes leave early (let alone on time)???? So I did my best to calm Lexie down and told her not to worry and that everything was going to be OK…I would call London and I would make sure there was someone to meet her at the airport at 6:30am even if I had to call Buckingham Palace and have the Queen bring around the emergency wedding carriage and that I would FEDEX her case to her tomorrow. Its not the end of the world but she was SO stressed about the whole luggage thing and so relieved when it all worked out…to have this happen totally caught her off guard and she melted down (and to be fair, it really was more a series of unfortunate incidents than irresponsibility)….she had her card case in her luggage until she stopped at the bank to deposit Grandma’s money and then she put it in this front tray in the truck with her phone and passport and other stuff she was taking. When we stopped to get Mike from downtown and switched drivers I grabbed her phone and the other stuff and handed it to her in the back seat (not knowing her card case was also tucked in there (under the emergency brake)…so she probably thought she had everything of importance.
Just as I was struggling with letting her go again….How many times do I have to do this and will it ever get easier?…..her final words to me were gut wrenching, heart breaking sobs….I just wanted to leap over the chain link fence (and I probably could have with my super mom protective powers) and run down the runway after that Thomas Cooke airplane and yell…”Bring back my baby…you insensitive, cold hearted, punctual kidnappers!”….But she was gone.
Long story longer…..I did get ahold of one of her friends also in London YWAM (thank goodness I have them all on Facebook)….and told her Lexie would be needing a ride from the airport to the base because she has no means to pay for the train and I think my heart lept inside me when I read her post a few moments later (who says its bad that people spend all their time on Facebook?) that said “I’m on it!” and a few moments later “Don’t worry Joselo will be there to pick her up”.
Seriously, how much of this drama can I take???
As as I was pondering what the purpose of todays events was…because I know God always has a plan and He uses everything in our lives….I was trying to figure this one out. It seemed so senseless…and then I felt the Lord whisper to me “lean not unto your own understanding” but if you have to have an explanation try this one on for size…maybe this wasn’t about Lexie…maybe its about you. Maybe it was my lesson….I believe it was my fault that Lexie left the card case in the car because I handed her back her phone and passport that were in that middle section of the truck (and of course did not know or see the card case)….If I hadn’t been trying to be such a hovercraft…Lexie would have picked up the stuff herself at the airport and known her card case was there as well and taken it too. But NO….I had to interfere.
I believe the Lord tried to explain to me…see what happens when you try to do my job and try to take care of your girl all on your own (like what would she do without you)? I WILL be taking care of her and guess what? I can do it better than you. You don’t always get everything right…now can you see that? I will go with Lexie and I will take care of her. This was really not a huge crisis (although it seemed so at the time)…..Isn’t God kind to try to teach us the lessons using inconsequential things? I am just sorryLexie had to suffer so I could learn something.
But I KNOW that God is taking care of Lexie and HE will cover her with His feathers and He will guide her and show her the way to should go….meanwhile I am back here learning all the lessons (I hope) that God wants me to learn. He takes care of us both. And that IS a comfort to a mother’s heart and soul.
Heather Servage Sohl Awww,, Elisa & I read this and we laughed as we saw so much of ourselves in this! I must say we got a bit misty eyed at the beginning as we read about the two of you sleeping together that one last night & watching the movie together. And the angst you would have felt as you watched the stupid plane leave early…I would have been running right along with you to stop the plane!! Thank you so much for sharing this, it leaves us with warm fuzzies, lovely memories and a good laugh! God keep you both!!
Marcy Field Thanks for sharing Geri. I remember when Amaryah left for one year in Germany with no one to meet her at the other end and not knowing whether a res room would be available for the first couple of days. You’re right – God is always there and does a much better job of taking care of our children.
Anna Foti Cole You’re right Geri, God always does a better job of taking care of our kids even though we want to push our way in there. Looking forward to hearing the rest of the story….
Lee Charles Aw Geri, my heart melted with your story that every mom can relate to in some way. What a blessing that God gave you Miss Lexie to love care for and the assurance that you can trust Him with her care now as he trusted you!
Heather Arkell McAlpine Geri, I would have to say, several times I have been confronted with “who is this lesson for anyway?!!!” and have to acknowledge that is was for me not my child! It is our nature to want to care for them and make things better. I so often respond to issues in my kids lives by saying “we’ll figure something out” when what I need to say is “our loving Father will figure this out” and His ways are far better than ours could ever be. Once again I am blessed and encouraged by your thoughts. What a great reminder of who is really caring for our sons and daughters and He is doing a far better job than I ever could! Have a great movie night and weekend!
Silvia Rudmik oh…. that would have been soooo hard! I hate seeing my kids upset over stuff like that and esp when I can do nothing to help… the lesson of giving up control is one very hard lesson to learn!!!!
Roslyn Steinbrenner What a stressful day for all of you! You must be so relieved to know she has arrived and is safe at her YWAM home. So hard to hear our children upset when distance separates us. Hope you guys can have a relaxing weekend.
Jacqui Wright You may be a type A+ Hovercraft but that’s why someone was there to pick her up at the airport and why she already has her case. If I was in this kind of predicament and you told me you’d look after it…. I would totally relax because i know you would!
Linda Irwin Love your mother’s heart and your heart for our big God who does work all things out for the good to those who love Him!
Debbie Burdzy This was JUST what I needed. Wonder if you realize that maybe God also wanted to use this in the life of someone you don’t even really know (me :0) )(Mike knows me from Bible camp days). I will be pondering this and I thank God for moving you to share it. I can’t tell you how I appreciate it.
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